Happy Friday! This week, I have done some deep Internet research to offer you some tips on how to make this Friday fun and memorable at work.
Enjoy!
Start the day by sending an e-mail to everyone saying that there are donuts in the break room, if someone says they were all gone then just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, “Oh you’ve got to be faster than that.” See how long it takes until the last person stops believing you. Repeat at lunch time sending out an email that there is free pizza.
Send email to yourself engaging yourself in a spirited debate about the direction of one of your company’s products/services or this week’s football schedule. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask them to settle the argumant.
Compose all your e-mails using only the wingdings font.
Put a sign on your photocopier that says “New Copier – Voice activated – please speak your command” Just sit back, watch and listen.
Call your boss’s voice mail and leave the following message: “We’re not sure if you wanted us to do it, you know, after what happened, so, well, we went ahead and did it anyway. If you don’t like it, we can probably take it out, but we’ll have to charge you extra. Please return this call immediately. Thanks.”
Enlist a co-worker and have a contest to see who can sign the boss’s email address up for the most email alerts/newsletters in an hour.
Make today the day that you determine just how many cups of coffee is “too many.”
Bring a karaoke machine and set it up in the break room, only have Halloween songs or songs with yodeling.
For one hour, page yourself on the intercom every five minutes; do not disguise your voice.
For one hour, after every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “That is a great idea, Mon.”
For one hour, speak with an accent (French, Indian, Elmer Fudd, etc.)
Put hole reinforcing circles on the center of your eyeglasses. If you don’t wear glasses try to cover your nose with them.
If a co-worker sneezes, quickly yell “SHUT UP!” If they sneeze a second time, follow up with “I SAID SHUT UP!” A third time, leave the room while saying “NO ONE EVER LISTENS TO ME!”
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi.”
Thought for the Week
“There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.” ~David Letterman
Happy Friday! The baseball playoffs began this week and I will admit that I am disappointed that the Reds made a quick exit stage left. So, let’s turn disappointment into a few laughs.
Enjoy!
Gravity is such a disappointment; it always lets me down.
I recently bought a DVD on dealing with disappointment. When I opened it, the box was empty.
Am I the only one that finds it disappointing that the word “stealth” doesn’t have a silent letter in it?
I was disappointed when I tried track in high school and I couldn’t even jump one hurdle, but I got over it.
I was so disappointed with my pillow case. Turns out that it is nothing but a sham.
I was so disappointed with the documentary on mathematical functions I watched. The plot line was predictable and the special f(x) was awful too.
I was so disappointed when I went to the new court house themed restaurant. all they gave me was frozen water, just-ice was served.
I was so disappointed when I told a chemistry joke but there was no reaction.
Would you call a disappointed cat a sigh-amise?
Would you call a disappointed giant a sigh-clops?
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” ~ C.S. Lewis
Happy Friday! Hope all is well in your world. This week’s offering is some sheep jokes to give you a sheep thrill.
Enjoy!
Would you call a flock of sheep tumbling down a hill a lambslide?
I heard that the favorite sport of sheep is baadminton.
I heard that sheep are terrible drivers. They are always making ewe turns.
I heard that the favorite musical instrument for sheep to play is a ewekulele.
I heard that the favorite site for sheep to watch videos is EweTube.
If you were suddenly surrounded by a flock of sheep would you say you had been lambushed?
I read about a lady who was viciously attacked by a flock of sheep. No one stepped in to try to stop the bleating.
Did you hear about the farmer who kept his newborn lambs in nInc-ewe-bators?
Did you hear about the sheep who called the police because he had been fleeced?
Did you hear about the flock of sheep that lacked sufficient computer power? There was not enough ram.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” ~ C.S. Lewis
Happy Friday! I hope I am not barking up the wrong tree this week, but I thought I would share some tree jokes with you. I probably should leaf the puns alone.
Enjoy!
Did you hear about the tree that got promoted to branch manager?
Did you hear about the tree that went to the dentist because it needed a root canal?
Did you hear about the tree that refused to play checkers because it was a chess nut?
Did you hear about the wise, old tree that offered sage advice?
Would you call a tree that can write verse a poetree?
Is it true that a tree’s favorite soda is root beer?
Is it true that a tree’s favorite band is The Beech Boys?
Is it true that a tree’s favorite movie is Pulp Fiction?
Is it true that a tree’s favorite pasta is spaghet-tree?
Is it true that trees do not like Hallmark movies because they are too sappy?
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun. “ ~ Napoleon Hill
Leonard's Lines 