Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

Friday Funny November 29, 2024 Leftover Jokes

Happy Friday!  I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving Day.  Now is the time for leftovers and shopping.  So, here are some leftover jokes.

Enjoy!

It seems like every year I find myself eating leftovers from Thanksgiving for weeks afterwards.  Not this year though, I’m quitting cold turkey.

I was planning on taking Thanksgiving leftovers home, alas my plans were foiled

Thanksgiving leftovers are always good, until they’re not.

The waitress asked me if I wanted a box for our leftovers. I said no but I’ll wrestle you for it.

Did you hear about the cheese that did not want to get sliced because it had grater plans?

You know baking puns are a piece of cake, but cooking puns are hard-boiled.

You might think cooking puns are rare, but they’re well-done in every way.

If you are making a salad, one needs romaine calm.

I heard about the baker who nervous because he had whisked everything.

Did you hear about the pie that went to the dentist because it needed a filling?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count.” ~  Neal A. Maxwell

You can find my latest podcast here:

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-leonard-looks-at-life-126237165/episode/thanksgiving-242845759/

Friday Funny November 22, 2024 A Baker’s Dozen of Thanksgiving Jokes

Happy Friday!  It is hard to believe that this is the Friday before Thanksgiving!  I want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for letting me bring you a few laughs.

Thanks to you, this blog has had more than 20,000 views this year!

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the cranberries that turned red because they saw the turkey dressing?

How many bakers does it take to make a pie? 3.14.

If turkeys had a prom would it be called the Butterball?

Would you call an especially attractive pilgrim a puri-ten?

Do sweet potatoes wear their yammies to bed?

Is it true that turkeys gobble because they never learned table manners?

Did you know that little pumpkins cross the road with the help of a crossing gourd?

Did you know that the preferred drinking glass for a turkey is a goblet?

Did you hear about the turkey that wanted to play baseball so that he could cover first baste?

If you are having a Friendsgiving would you invite a group of pal-grims?

Did you hear about the green beans that tried out to be in the Thanksgiving play? They landed the casse-role.

Last Thanksgiving a policeman pulled me over on my way home for exceeding the feed limit.

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.

THOUGHT DOR THE WEEK

“When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”

~ Johnson Oatman, Jr.

If you enjoy the blog, and even if you don’t – jump over to the podcast “Leonard Looks at Life.” Here is a link to the newest episode: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-leonard-looks-at-life-126237165/episode/connecting-with-the-past-240188092/

Friday Funny November 24, 2024 Some Thanksgiving Leftover Jokes

Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.  Here are a few leftover jokes for your weekend.

Enjoy!

What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving? – I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

My wife keeps getting mad at me for eating leftovers straight from the fridge, but it is really hard to quit cold turkey.

My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.  Sily boy, I ate them in the living room

I think most people put leftover food in Tupperware because they know they will throw it out, but just not for a few days.

If someone gave you leftover Thanksgiving ham, would that make it a hammy-down?

I was planning on taking Thanksgiving leftovers home from; however,  my plans were foiled

I found a leftover Thanksgiving cookie crying, it seems he was sad because his mom has been a wafer a long time.

Would you call leftover French cuisine Deja food?

Would do you call leftover salad the romaine-der?

Any leftover cabbage can and will be shredded and mixed with mayonnaise. I believe that would be Cole’s Law.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“It is only with gratitude that life becomes rich!”  ~Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Thanksgiving Up In Smoke

Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that, for most of us, is filled with memories:  memories of gatherings, memories of food, fond memories with family and friends.  This year Thanksgiving will be a different one and a memorable one in a number of ways.

For me, one of the most memorable Thanksgiving was in 1980 and it hard to believe it was forty years ago.  I was a senior in college and Thanksgiving break is ALWAYS welcome when one is in college.  The break usually means being home with family, sleeping in your own bed, eating some real home cooking and spending time with people that you do not get to see near as often as you used to.

Thanksgiving Day itself was nothing out of the ordinary and to be honest, I do not have many memories of that day.  However, the break took an eventful turn on Saturday morning.  I had transferred to Miami University after my sophomore year and had rented an apartment with two friends I had known since grade school.  Saturday morning I had a call from Joe who had received a call from Randy.  Randy’s Dad had heard on the radio that there had been a fire at our apartment in Oxford.  So, the three of us headed to Oxford from Dayton to see what was going on.  Upon our arrival we found that most of the third floor of the three floor apartment building was gone and, unfortunately, we lived on the third floor.

It is rather amazing that there were no firemen or anyone there to keep us out, so we went up to the third floor to have a  look around.  What we saw was not very pretty as the above picture of my bed can show.  We dragged out some stuff, most of which was thrown away as soon as we unloaded it at home.  It is interesting to see one’s entire album collection fused together in one mass.  I did trim the burnt edges off of my Cost Accounting book so that I could use for the Advanced Cost Accounting course.  

It is said that there is always a silver lining and there was a silver lining that rose out of the ashes that was my college apartment.  My Dad received an insurance check to help cover the loss.  Out of what came in the check, he gave me a portion.  There were two items that I purchased with the insurance money.  The first thing I bought was Wilson A2000 baseball glove which I still have in my possession and used up until COVID took softball away this year.  The other, more expensive and perhaps the more important purchase I made was an engagement ring.  (It was 1/4 carat, the insurance check was not that big.)  Fortunately the engagement ring is still in use as well.

This Thanksgiving will be different, but hopefully there will still be a roof over your head when Saturday morning rolls around.

 

Friday Funny November 20, 2020 Thanksgiving Jokes

Happy Friday!  The good news is that there are only six more weeks left in 2020, the bade news is who knows what 2021 will bring!  However, if we try, we can all find things to be thankful for even during this difficult year.  Thanksgiving is less than a week away now, so here is a serving of jokes to get you in the mood,

Enjoy!

If you pass down the family recipe for turnkey from one generation to another would you call that copy and basting?

Would you call a turkey’s evil twin a gobblegänger?

Is it true that the turkey crossed the road so that people would think he was a chicken instead?

Is it true that turkeys make are not very good baseball players because they always hit fowl balls?

If a turkey hurt his leg causing a limb would he “Wobble, wobble!?”

If a fire breaks out during your Thanksgiving dinner should you stop, drop, and pass the rolls?

If a turkey got in a fight would he get the stuffing knocked out of him?

Is a turkey’s favorite internet browser “Google, google!?”

 If a flock of turkeys go to a dance would it be a Butterball?

 If they made a movie about a real person who hosted the largest Thanksgiving dinner in history would they say that it was baste on a True Story?

I am so excited for Thanksgiving Dinner this year because this year I shot my first Thanksgiving turkey.  You should have seen the look on the faces of all the other people in the grocery store!

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.” ~President John F. Kennedy, Thanksgiving Day Proclamation, 1963

http://WWW.quotegarden.com

Friday Funny November 23, 2018 Thanksgiving Weather Forecast

Happy Friday and Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope you were able to enjoy your Thanksgiving Day and took time to reflect on the blessings that are all too frequently easy to overlook.

Enjoy!

Thanksgiving Weather Forecast

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an
afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and
humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe
squall or cold shoulder. 

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a
knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation
of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift
across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots
on the other. Please pass the gravy. 

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for
the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the
beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and
taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the
refrigerator. 

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat
sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be
expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup
late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup
develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as
the only wish left will be the bone.

Q: Why do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A:  Pumpkin Pi

Thought for the Week

“The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.” – Abraham Lincoln – 1863

Friday Funny November 17, 2017 Calling on the Hotline, the Butterball Hotline

Happy Friday!  It is now less than a week to Thanksgiving and I imagine your Thanksgiving plans are well underway.  The anticipation of sharing a great meal with family is often mixed with anxiety about preparing the “perfect meal” for everyone.  One of the biggest culinary concerns is often the turkey.  Well, fear not, Butterball operates a Turkey Hotline every year during the holiday season to help you cook that perfect Thanksgiving bird.  Of course they do receive some rather interesting questions from time to time. Here are some of my favorites.

Enjoy!

Calls from harried hosts that cleaned their birds with metal scouring pads, and
need advice on how to get the metal bits out of the turkey.

“I don’t want to cook the whole turkey, so I cut it in half with a chainsaw. How do I get the chainsaw oil out of the turkey?”

“Can I cook the turkey on the engine block of my semi while I’m driving? If I drive faster, will it cook faster?”

The turkey in my freezer is 23 years old. Is it safe to eat?

Asked what state her turkey was in, the caller told the Talk-Line operator: “Florida.”

“Your directions say to roast the turkey, but my oven says only bake or broil;
how do I set it?”

Does the turkey go in the oven feet first or head first?

“Are one of the turkey’s legs dark meat and the other white?”

How long does it take to thaw a fresh turkey? 

How do I prepare a turkey for vegetarians?

Can I thaw a frozen turkey in the aquarium with my tropical fish?

How do I roast my turkey so it gets golden brown tan lines  in the shape of a turkey bikini?

As you might guess, most turkey traumas occur on Thanksgiving Day. Never
fear, Butterball has their entire staff of home economists is on duty that day to
handle the 7,000 to 8,000 calls the talk line will receive that day.

Just in case, the number is 1- 800-Butterball (1-800-288-8372).

Thought for the Week

“Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out.”~ John Wooden

Friday Funny November 25, 2016 Thanksgiving

turkey

I hope you were able to enjoy Thanksgiving Day.   In 1863 Abraham Lincoln proclaimed the last Thursday of November as a national day of Thanksgiving in the midst of the Civil War. Since 1939, the fourth Thursday in November has been designated as that goes far beyond parades, football and holiday shopping deals.

Of course, we realize that the roots of Thanksgiving goes mush further back.  From our earliest days in grade school we associated Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims and their 1621 feast which lasted three days and consisted of fish, shellfish, fowl, venison, berried, fruit, vegetables, grains, beans, corn and squash.  Even in the midst of hardship those that had survived a difficult first year in the new world were thankful for what they had.   

Much more recently, in 1973, we were provided a new perspective on this day with the arrival of “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.”  If you remember, Peppermint Patty calls and invites herself and her friends Marcie and Franklin over to “Chuck’s” house for a holiday dinner.  With the help of Linus and Snoopy, Charlie Brown makes quick preparations.  As the guests arrive they all directed to the backyard ping-pong table where their feast awaits. Linus leads the group in prayer, and Snoopy serves up the food, throwing the plates to each guest Frisbee-style. Each person receives two slices of buttered toast, pretzel sticks, a handful of popcorn, and some jelly beans.  The guests think this odd at first, but they decide in the end they are thankful for what they have.

Today we use modern ovens, rosters, smokers, fryers  and microwaves to quickly and efficiently prepare turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy, sweet potatoes, corn, vegetables, pumpkin and pecan pie.  Many items are purchased at the nearby grocery at the last-minute as we ponder how we will survive the few hours the grocery might be closed on Thanksgiving Day.  There is a morning’s worth of parades (which really aren’t even parades any longer) followed by the NFL treating us to the Detroit Lions who, for a change this year, are not one of the biggest turkeys in the league, the Dallas Cowboys and one more Thursday Night game.  The next day offers “Black Friday” where apparently all thankfulness and civility is quickly discarded in an effort to wrestle door-buster specials away from anyone who dares to get in our way.  Saturday delivers a slew of college football rivalry games including Ohio State & “that school up north.”

In the midst of all the frantic activity of this long weekend, can we pause for at least a moment to ponder at least one thing we are thankful for?  This week, this day, take a few moments and reflect on what those Pilgrims went though, on what Abraham Lincoln called the country to,yes even what Charlie Brown reminded us of – take more than a moment to be Thankful for all the goods things.

Thought for the Week

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

http://www.quotegarden.com

Thanksgiving 2014

turkey

Happy Thanksgiving! Today we are reminded of  the Pilgrims and their three-day feast which was observed in the midst of hardship as those who survived their first year in the new world took time to be thankful for what they had.   

I imagine at least once you have watched “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.”  You can probably recite the story where Peppermint Patty calls and invites herself and Marcie and Franklin over to “Chuck’s” house for a holiday dinner.  With the help of Linus and Snoopy quick preparations are made.  The guests arrive and they all make their way to the ping-pong table in the backyard for the feast. Linus leads the group in prayer, and Snoopy serves up the food, throwing the plates to each guest Frisbee-style. Everyone receives two slices of buttered toast, pretzel sticks, a handful of popcorn, and some jelly beans.  The guests think this odd at first, but they decide in the end they are thankful for what they have.

Today we use ovens and microwaves to quickly and efficiently prepare turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy, sweet potatoes, corn, vegetables, pumpkin and pecan pie.  We buy all these at the grocery at the last-minute and wonder how we will survive the few hours the grocery is closed on Thanksgiving Day.  There is a morning’s worth of parades followed by an afternoon and evening of football.  

Then comes “Black Friday” as we lose all thankfulness and all civility in an effort to wrestle those door-buster specials away from anyone who dares to get in our way. 

Saturday brings a bunch of college football rivalry games including Ohio State and some school up north.

In the midst of all this frantic activity we pause to take moment to state one thing we are thankful for?  This time, let’s take more than a moment, let’s reflect on what those Pilgrims went though, what Charlie Brown reminded us of.  Yes, there are many problems in this world, yes some days are difficult and some days are next to impossible, still there is much to be thankful for.  So, stop and ponder, be thankful for all of the good things in your life this Thanksgiving Day.

And now for your Thanksgiving weather forecast (this has been circulating for a number of years and it is amazingly accurate!)

Turkeys will be thawing overnight and into the morning, transitioning to warming in the oven to an afternoon high near 190 degrees. As the day progresses, the kitchen will become hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

Towards late afternoon, the cold front of a knife will quickly slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on most plates with higher accumulations on some. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side gravy may lead to localized flooding and watch out for cranberry sauce to create some slippery spots. 

As we look toward the evening, a weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. As the evening comes on, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34 degrees in the refrigerator. 

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Also expect occasional flurries of leftovers both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup each day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.