Happy Friday! This weekend kicks off the unofficial start of summer with Memorial Day. Here is wishing you a pleasant weekend and reminding you to reflect on the meaning of the holiday.
Enjoy!
Did you hear about the cowboy who died with his boots on because he did not want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket?
Did you hear about the cowboy who cooked his beans on the range?
Did you hear about the cowboy who purchased a dachshund because he wanted to git along little doggie?
Did you hear about the spontaneous cowboy who was always making spur-of-the-moment decision?
Did you know that cowboys’ relationships tend to be stable?
Would you call a low-calorie takeout meal for a cowboy a saddle light dish?
Would you call a cowboy’s outfit ranch dressing?
Would you call a cowboy who tells dad jokes a pun-slinger?
If a cowboy puts one foot across the Canadian border is he fully in Canada or just aboot?
I heard that cowboys keep their cattle quiet by using the moooote button.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“A nation that does not honor its heroes will not long endure.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
Happy Friday! Happy Valentine’s Day! This is a day when love is celebrated. As I think back on some of the most popular songs of the 1970’s, it makes me wonder if they were giving very good advice about matters of the heart?
Enjoy!
“Babe” – Styx
“Babe, I’m leaving
I’ll say it once again
And somehow try to smile
I know the feeling
We’re trying to forget
If only for a while”
Love means: I am leaving – deal with it.
“I’d Really Love to See You Tonight”—England Dan & John Ford Coley
“And I was thinking maybe later on
We could get together for a while
It’s been such a long time
And I really do miss your smile
I’m not talking about moving in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowing, the stars are out
And I’d really love to see you tonight”
Love means: I would like to hang out with you, but don’t expect any real commitment from me.
“I’m Not in Love”—10cc
“I like to see you, but then again
That doesn’t mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don’t make a fuss
Don’t tell your friends about the two of us”
Love means: not much, don’t make a big deal out of it.
“Baby Come Back”—Player
“All day long, I’m wearing a mask of false bravado
Trying to keep up a smile that hides a tear
But as the sun goes down, I get that empty feeling again”
Love means: putting on a good show when your heart is broken.
“More Than a Feeling”—Boston
”So many people have come and gone
Their faces fade as the years go by
Yet I still recall as I wander on
As clear as the sun in the summer sky”
Love means: memories fade over time.
“On and On”—Stephen Bishop
“Got the sun on my shoulders
And my toes in the sand
Woman’s left me for some other man
Aw, but I don’t care
“I’ll just dream and stay tan
Toss up my heart and see where it lands.”
Love means: You get hurt so often you stop caring.
“Lonesome Loser”—Little River Band
“Unlucky in love, least that’s what they say
He lost his head and he gambled his heart away
He still keeps searching though there’s nothing left
Staked his heart and lost, now he has to pay the cost”
Love Means: Love is a lot like buying a lottery ticket – the odds are stacked against you.
“The Things That We Do for Love”—10CC
“Too many broken hearts have fallen in the river
Too many lonely souls have drifted out to sea
You lay your bets and then you pay the price
The things we do for love”
Love Means: Love is a lot like buying a lottery ticket – the odds are stacked against you.
“Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me”—Mac Davis
“Just keep it friendly, girl
Cause I don’t wanna leave
Don’t start clinging to me, girl
Cause I can’t breathe”
Love means: I will hang around as long as it is convenient for me.
“Love Hurts”—Nazareth
“Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds and mars
Any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain”
Love means: Love hurts – should probably avoid it
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby—awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” ~ Lemony Snicket
Happy Friday! With Christmas fast approaching, it seemed like a like a good time to unwrap some candy cane jokes.
Enjoy!
Santa never has to worry about the state of his candy cane collection because they are all in mint condition.
When a gingerbread man breaks his leg, does he use candy canes?
If a candy cane could talk, would he say what he mint?
I heard that the candy cane crossed the road to avoid getting licked.
If a candy cane was sad, would it be red, white, and blue?
If a dog ate to many candy canes would it have a peppermint bark?
Would you call a sharpened candy cane a spearmint?
Candy canes are kind of like relationships—sweet, with a few twists.
Would a candy cane’s favorite subject in school be Math-mint-ics?
Would a candy cane’s favorite types of fruit be candy-lopes and cle-mint-ines?
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?” – Bob Hope
Leonard's Lines 