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SIMPLE RULES – BUYING GIFTS FOR MEN

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This is the time of year when men fret over buying gifts for women and women fret over buying gifts for men. While buying the “perfect” gift for a woman is next to impossible, but gifts for men is a piece of cake, literally if not always figuratively, but cake will often work.  Fret not, just follow these simple rules.

When in doubt – buy cordless power tools. Cordless drills, cordless saws.  If he has a complete set of cordless power tools, you can always buy him an extra battery pack.

If cordless power tools are too much for your budget, just buy anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. If he has all the ratchet and sockets that he needs, there is always a socket extender that will widen the world where he can use all those sockets and ratchets that he already has.

If you are really, really cheap (or broke) broke, buy him anything for his car. You should be able to find a gallon of windshield fluid for under $2.50.  Wrap it up, it is bug, heavy and useful.  He will appreciate it.

Another very safe guy gift is a remote control to replace the ones they have worn out or broken or lost. You could go all out and get a universal remote, but beware you may not see him for a few days as he programs everything in the neighborhood to work with this power wielding instrument. As an added bonus give him an extra pack of batteries for the remote.

Label makers. Almost as good as cordless power tools. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere.

Many men do not cook, but they will barbecue. So buy him the largest grill you can find with the largest propane tank that is legal. He will be offering you burnt sacrifices in no time.

Baseball, Football, Hockey Tickets are always a smart gift. However, he may not appreciate tickets to “Mama Mia” of “Riverdance.”

Every man needs a really good wheelbarrow and an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder, at least 12 feet in height.

Men love rope. Whether it be a hundred feet of 3/8” manila rope or a nice bar of “soap on a rope” the message that you really care will be received.

Friday Funny November 21, 2014 Snow Blondes

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Happy Friday!  This week has brought cold and snow to much of the country.  So while you may have broken out the snow shovels this week, I’ll break out a couple of snow jokes.

Enjoy!

SNOW PLOW

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when a blonde lady left work for the day.  She made her way to her car and wondered how she was ever going to make it home. While she sat in her car as it warmed up for a few minutes she pondered her situation. Then she remembered her Father’s advice that if she got caught in a really heavy snow storm she should just wait for a snow plow to come by and then follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough just a few minutes later a snow plow went by and she started to follow it.

As she followed the snow plow she was feeling smug as and she was not having any problem with the snowy conditions. After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprise when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time.

She said that she was fine and told him of her wise Father’s advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a snow storm. The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted, however, he was done with the Target parking lot and was going over to Kohl’s next.

SNOW ROUTE

One very snowy winter morning Norman and his blond wife were listening to the radio over breakfast when they heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street,so the snowplows can get through.” So, Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.” So, Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park ……” Suddenly, the power goes out. Now Norman’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?”

With a loving and sympathetic voice Norman says … “Sweetie, this time why don’t you just leave it in the garage?”

Thought for the Week

[W]inter tames man, woman and beast…. ~William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew (Grumio)

http://www.quotegarden,com

Happy Veterans Day 2014

 

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Today is Veterans Day.  On the calendar it might appear to be one of the “lesser” holidays that we observe.  It is one of those days where government offices and banks are closed, there is no mail delivery; but for many, this day is no different from any other day. However, this day is far different from other days, for it is a day set aside to honor those who have served, those who have risked everything so that the rest of us might be able to enjoy freedom.

We know that ours is a nation that was birthed in a struggle for freedom and the struggle has never ceased.  The early twentieth century brought “the war to end all wars” which, unfortunately, did not end all wars.  My Grandfather served in the Navy during “The Great War” which officially ended on June 28, 1919.  However, most of the fighting ceased when a temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month.  Hence, we observe Veterans Day on November 11.

One of my favorite veterans is my Father who served in the Navy during World War II   spending most of his time on Destroyers or “tin cans” as they were called.  He says that people might think it sounds crazy but he says he would not trade that time for anything.  The experience took a young man from the foothills of the Appalachians across the country from New England to California and from the Aleutians to the South Pacific.  It took him to the Battle of Leyte Gulf where General MacArthur famously declared, “I have returned.”  World War II veterans are a real national treasure and I am blessed that Dad recently celebrated his 93rd birthday.

Another one of my favorite veterans is my son.  Before he started his senior year of high school he had already committed to the Marine Corps.  He signed up early so that he would be able to get his desired job because “a real Marine is a rifleman.”  He graduated from high school on a Sunday and the following Tuesday he was on Paris Island. Although he was in the reserve, his unit was activated and he served a tour in the Middle East.  A few months ago, his active commitment ended and he has joined the growing ranks of new veterans.

So, Happy Veterans Day to all those who have served, but especially to my two favorite veterans:  my Dad and my Son.

 

I’ll Tell You Who I Voted For

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Election day has finally arrived and we can all be thankful that our mailbox will be a little less full and our phone will ring fewer times tomorrow.  I do not think I have come across anyone that says, “You know, I will really miss those political robo-calls,” or “I enjoy those election mailers, I read every one of them,” or “I still have not decided who to vote for, perhaps if I got saw one more commercial that would help me make up my mind.”

I thought I would go out on a limb tonight and tell you who I voted for.  First, let me tell you that over the years I have been disappointed by the major parties, the minor parties and the independents.  I have been disappointed by the infighting and the out fighting.  I have been disappointed by the mud-slinging and the pandering.  In short, I have pretty much been disappointed with politics and politicians.  To be honest, I found it difficult to get out and vote this time around.  To be perfectly honest, I really do not believe that my vote in this election matters, the races on my ballot do not appear to be very close and my vote will not be tipping any scales.

Then it occurred to me that I was approaching this all wrong.  This election I voted for me. No, I did not put my name down as a write-in candidate, there were still individuals that I placed my “X” by but I did not vote for them.  I voted for me.  I voted because it is my right, my privilege, my duty and my responsibility as an American citizen.  It is a right that many have fought for, that many have suffered for, that many have died for and a privilege that is denied to many throughout the world.  Although my vote may not make any difference to a candidate it makes a difference to me.  So, I went out and voted and I hope you did as well.

 

Friday July 4, 2014 Happy Fourth!

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IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good. He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them. He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only. He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures. He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people. He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within. He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands. He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries. He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance. He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures. He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power. He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation: For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us: For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States: For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world: For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent: For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury: For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies: For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments: For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever. He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us. He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people. He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation. He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands. He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.