Happy Friday! This first full week of 2015 has brought cold temperatures to many of us. We can’t do anything about the weather, but we can laugh about it.
Jack Frost was nipping at his own nose!
Hitchhikers were holding up signs with pictures of thumbs!
Chickens were lining up at KFC and asking to be put in the pressure cooker!
I tried to buy “Icy Hot” but I only found “Icy”!
The only things cannibals were eating was a cold shoulder!
To help me with me my cold, I had a block of chicken soup!
The barbershop was doing a booming business in thermal hairpieces!
We went ice-fishing in the bathtub!
The winner of the ice sculpture contest was disqualified when it was discovered he WAS the ice sculpture!
Kids were telling the most outrageous lies – hoping their pants might catch on fire!
It took me two hours to walk one block – my shadow kept freezing to the sidewalk!
The lights in my house only come on if I open the door!
Every kind of cereal in the cupboard is FROSTED!
I saw an Amish man buying an electric blanket!
The last time he was seen, Smokey the Bear had grabbed a box of matches and was seen running into the woods!
I was shivering more than a mobster at an IRS audit!
Apple just introduced the iParka.
Politicians were putting their hand in their own pockets!
Thought for the Week
Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories. ~From the movie An Affair to Remember, written by Delmer Daves, Donald Ogden Stewart, Leo McCarey, and Mildred Cram