Monthly Archives: May 2026

Friday Funny May 29, 2026 More Car Jokes

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Happy Friday!  As we enter into the summer vacation season, it seems like a good trip to dust off some car jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the car that was always tired because it never took any brakes?

With self-driving vehicles becoming more common, it is only a matter of time before there is a hit country song where a guy’s truck leaves him too.

I was having a lot of trouble figuring out how to fasten my seatbelt, then it clicked.

I read a story about a woman who gave birth to a boy in her car on our way to the hospital, she named him Carson.

I have been building a car from old washing machine parts.  I can’t wait to take it for a spin.

I have been looking for a book on how to fix my automatic transmission, but the library only has manuals.

It may not be safe for me to be drive my car these days; but, bad brakes have never stopped me before.

I took my car in for a service this week, my pastor was not impressed

If you got hit by a guitar truck, would that be a fender-bender?

Did you know that there is a car featured in the new Star Wars movie?  It is a Mazda-lorian.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?” ~ Steven Wright

Friday Funny May 22, 2026 Jokes for Summer

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Happy Friday!  We have reached Memorial Day Weekend and the unofficial start of summer.  Amid the barbecues and picnics and pool parties this weekend, be sure to take time to reflect on the meaning of Memorial Day and the cost that many have paid so that we can have our freedom.

With summer upon us, let’s kick off the weekend with some summer jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you know that seashells stay clean by washing up on the beach?

Did you know that summer camp is hard for some people because it tends to be in tents?

Did you hear about watchmaker who went on vacation to unwind?

Did you hear about the professor who carefully waded into the pool because she wanted to test the water?

Did you know that ghosts go to the beach because they love to boo-gie board?

If you throw all your books into the ocean, would you get a title wave?

If cows stay out and get too much sun, would they give evaporated milk?

Would you call a crustacean that just lies on the beach all day a slobster?

I read about a sandwich maker who went to a summer camp to learn about condiments, it was a Mayo Clinic.

I read about a hipster who wore flannel in the summer because he wanted to wear it before it was cool.

I applied for a job at a sunscreen company.  They rejected me, but I think I will reapply.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“A nation which forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten.” ~ Woodrow Wilson

Friday Funny May 15, 2026 Fill Up With These Gas Jokes

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Happy Friday! We are all dealing with higher gas prices these days, so we might as well get a laugh out of it.

Enjoy!

To fuel or not to fuel, that is the question.

Did you hear about the art thief whose van run out of gas when he tried to drive away from the museum?  It seems he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

These gas prices have me feeling sick.  I think I might have a case of the car-owner-virus

It is not often that I brag about going to expensive places, but I just left the gas station.

Today I needed to pick up paper, pens, and envelopes from the store, but since the price of gas is so high, I rode my stationery bike.

I went into a Speedway gas station this morning and asked for $3 worth of gas.  The clerk handed me a bean burrito.

Apparently, I have been banned from the gas station for playing ‘The Who’ too loudly on my car stereo.  It seems I won’t get fueled again.

I thought I was saving money by purchasing my gas at a self-service station.  It turns out, I was only fueling myself.

While I was at the gas station, I thought about buying a salad.  There were two choices: regular or unlettuced.

I thought about posting every gas pun I could find but I decided that would be very fuelish.  Tank goodness I didn’t post them all.

Last week I came up with a joke about inflation. It’s not as funny today

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.” ~  Edward Abbey

Friday Funny May 8, 2026 School Jokes

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Happy Friday!  The end of the school year is quickly approaching, so it seems like a good time for some school jokes.

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the computer teacher who quit his job? Apparently, she lost her drive.

Did you hear about the science teacher who was fired from his job?  Apparently, he only showed periodically.

Did you hear about the college professor who was involved in a car wreck?  Apparently, he was grading papers on a curve.

Did you hear about the dinosaur who was worried about going back to school?  Apparently, he was a nervous rex.

Did you know that Alexia kept getting detention at school?  Apparently she kept talking back.

Did you hear about the geometry teacher wo was exhausted at the end of the school year?  Apparently, she was out of shapes.

I heard that when Minecraft players graduate, they celebrate by throwing a block party.

I heard that chemistry students tell the worst jokes because all the good jokes argon.

I once took a circus class, we had to keep all our homework in a tree-ring binder.

I gave my history professor a gift, but he didn’t like the present.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” ~ Helen Keller