Friday Funny September 2, 2016 My Labor Day Resume


Happy Friday and Happy Labor Day!  This weekend we pause from our everyday tasks to catch our breath and say goodbye to summer.  As we ponder Labor Day, I thought I would share a few items from my extensive resume.


My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned— couldn’t concentrate.

I always wanted to be a pilot, but my career just never got off the ground.

I tried being a parachutist, but nothing ever opened up.  

I tried being a professional bowler, but it wasn’t up my alley.  

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.  

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.  

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.  

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job and seamed more exciting than it was.

Then I tried to be a chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.  

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.  

I spent some time as a butcher, but I backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in my work.

My best job w. as being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.  

My years as an exterminator were pretty good, but I got tired of the rat race.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in and working with all the heels drained my sole.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patients.  

I was a pretty good eye doctor, but I could not stay focused on the job.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.  

So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.  

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.  

Then I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

I tried working at a bank, but I lost interest.  

Finally, I took a job as an accountant, but I lost my balance……

Thought for the Week

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. ~Robert Orben


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