Friday Funny December 9, 2016 What Not to Buy This Christmas


Happy Friday!  The holiday season is in full swing, folks are out searching for that perfect Christmas gift.  But as you go down your gift list this year, here are a few things you just might want to pass on.


Ugly Christmas Sweater – By the time the next opportunity comes around to wear it, you have probably forgotten where you stored it.  Plus this fad has to end soon, right?  Please!??

Doormat – you may think a holiday doormat is festive, but you will be wrong.

Socks – calf-length or ankle high, five little toes or not, holiday or not, no one – no one will be excited to receive socks.

Belly Button Brush – I learn something every day.  I did not know such a product existed, nor can I ever recall an occasion when I needed one. So, I am pretty certain I would not be thrilled to receive one.

Tissues – nothing says, “I was too busy to go shopping, so I just looked in the closet for a gift like a box of tissues.”  Don’t think finding a box decorated with a holiday theme makes this “gift” any better.

Toothbrush – it is a pretty safe bet to just refrain from giving anything that resides in the bathroom for a Christmas gift, refrain from toothbrushes even electric ones or ones with Marvel Super Heroes on them.

Glowing Toilet Seat – again refrain from bathroom gifts.  If you honestly would consider purchasing this as a gift for someone, I suggest you seek counseling.

The Eternal Ice Cube from Rox – is it really that difficult to make some new ice cubes?  What happened did you lose the family recipe?

Beard Bells from The Gruff Beard Company – while it may allow the recipient to happily jingle all the way, I just have a hunch they would never be used.

Realistic Cat Handbag from Pico Cat – it looks just like you are carrying around a real cat…..without any legs.

Stress Buster Desktop Punching Ball – two issues 1) being seen using it in the office is probably not good for your career and 2) the little suction thingy at the bottom will not hold sustain more than a tap thus creating a comical moment for your coworkers who see you the desktop punching ball go flying off the desktop the first time it is used.

World Market Desktop Drum Set – who doesn’t want a co-worker playing drums on his or her desk?  It would be likely to increase the use of Stress Buster Desktop Punching Balls.

For that hard to buy person in your life, the one who has everything – how about A Bag of Nothing, literally.  A company called IWOOT has these and, according to their website, the are currently sold out. I can hear the conversation: Company President, “Business has been great, we are sold out of nothing! The shelves are empty of nothing!”  Customer, “When do you expect to get in more nothing?” Company President, “We are not sure nothing is currently on back order.”

Thought for the Week


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