Category Archives: Humor

Friday Funny November 22, 2024 A Baker’s Dozen of Thanksgiving Jokes

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Happy Friday!  It is hard to believe that this is the Friday before Thanksgiving!  I want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for letting me bring you a few laughs.

Thanks to you, this blog has had more than 20,000 views this year!

Enjoy!

Did you hear about the cranberries that turned red because they saw the turkey dressing?

How many bakers does it take to make a pie? 3.14.

If turkeys had a prom would it be called the Butterball?

Would you call an especially attractive pilgrim a puri-ten?

Do sweet potatoes wear their yammies to bed?

Is it true that turkeys gobble because they never learned table manners?

Did you know that little pumpkins cross the road with the help of a crossing gourd?

Did you know that the preferred drinking glass for a turkey is a goblet?

Did you hear about the turkey that wanted to play baseball so that he could cover first baste?

If you are having a Friendsgiving would you invite a group of pal-grims?

Did you hear about the green beans that tried out to be in the Thanksgiving play? They landed the casse-role.

Last Thanksgiving a policeman pulled me over on my way home for exceeding the feed limit.

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.

THOUGHT DOR THE WEEK

“When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”

~ Johnson Oatman, Jr.

If you enjoy the blog, and even if you don’t – jump over to the podcast “Leonard Looks at Life.” Here is a link to the newest episode: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-leonard-looks-at-life-126237165/episode/connecting-with-the-past-240188092/

Friday Funny November 15, 2024 Rustling Up Some Cowboy Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Hope you have had a good week.  I have rounded up some cowboy jokes to kick the weekend off.

Enjoy!

A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, “Sure, that’s 20 cows.”

A cowboy goes into a library wearing a paper suit and paper hat. He wasn’t there five minutes before he was arrested for rustling.

Did you hear about the new cowboy film called The Sun? It is set in the west.

Did you know that Canadian cowboys have sticky feet because of maple stirrups?

Did you hear about the great cowboy artist who could draw really fast?

Did you hear about the cowboy who would take hay to bed so he could feed his nightmare?

Do you know how to warm up a frozen cowboy? Yee thaw!

If a cowboy finds a horseshoe does that mean that his horse is walking around in his socks?

Would you call a retired cowboy de-ranged?

Would you a cowboy who worked at a bank, the loan arranger?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” ~ Will Rogers

Friday Funny November 8, 2024 Jokes If You Are Bored

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Happy Friday!  Halloween and Election Day are behind us and it is three weeks until Thanksgiving.  Hopefully, this is not a boring time for you, but if it is, here are some jokes about being bored.

Enjoy!

I was so bored that I memorized six pages of a dictionary.  I learned next to nothing.

The other day I was bored and hit my flat screen tv with a hammer, it broke, obviously.  So, I took it to Best Buy to get it fixed, and the woman at the counter said they can’t fix hammers.

I read about some scientists who got so bored after watching the Earth spin for 24 hours that they just called it a day.

I’ve been bored recently so I decided to take up fencing. The neighbors said they will call the police unless I put it back.

I remember once that my brother and I got so bored, we started throwing spice jars at each other, then the thyme really flew.

Last week I was bored, so I decided it might be fun to swap around the labels on my wife’s spice rack. She hasn’t noticed yet, but mark my words, the thyme is cumin.

Do you know what a termite does when it gets bored? Pretty much anything to break up the mahogany.

Sometimes when I get bored, I see how many different watches I can strap onto my wrists. I have too much time on my hands.

Last week I went to a lecture about lamps. I thought it would be boring,  but it was very illuminating.

I am so boring person that someone stole my identity and then tried to give it back.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Life is never boring, but some people chose to be bored.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Friday Funny November 1, 2024, Jokes for Your Sweet Tooth

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Happy Friday!  Odds are that although Trick or Treat is over, there may is some candy around your house.  So, how about some candy jokes to sweeten up the weekend?

Enjoy!

Is it true that the most popular candy on the playground is recess pieces?

If someone gave you a stolen Hershey bar, would it be hot chocolate?

Is it true that the bubble gum crossed the road because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot?

Is it true that for Trick or Treat whales give out blubber gum?

Is it true that cannibal’s favorite candy is Mentos?

Is it true that the most common parasites on candy corn is gummy worms?

Did you hear about the candy maker who thought he was seeing double? Turned out that his mind was playing Twix on him.

Did you hear about the candy cane who could talk? Apparently, he said what he mint.

I think there is a big similarity to music similar and candy.  You can enjoy either one, once you throw away the rapper.

If you tell a joke to candy, it probably will not laugh, but you might get Snickers.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Years are like candy bars. We’re paying more, but they’re getting shorter.” ~ Charles M. Schulz

Friday Funny October 18, 2024 Random Thoughts for Friday

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Happy Friday!  There is a chill in the air as we come to the second half of October.  Here are some random thoughts/jokes to kick off this Friday.

Enjoy!

I heard that some engineers have made a car that can run on mint. I am waiting to see if they can make buses and trains that run on thyme. 

Word of advice, never get into a fight with Tryptophan, it’s amino acid.

Did you hear about the database administrator who was good at her job? She had great table manners.

Is the proper way to use a stress ball throwing it at the last person to upset you?

I am thinking we have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. Dr. said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden. 

I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!

I was going to tell a carpentry joke but I couldn’t find any that woodwork.

I sympathize with batteries. I’m not included in anything either.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”~ L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Friday Funny October 11, 2024 Rounding Up Some Cow Jokes

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Happy Friday! There is a lot going on in the world, hopefully you can chuckle at a couple of cow jokes.

Enjoy!

Would you call a cow that drinks too much coffee over-calfinated?

Would you call a grass-fed cow a lawn moo-er?

Would you call a rude cow beef jerky?

If one cow was spying on another cow would that be called a steak out?

When little cows go to school, do they eat lunch in the calf-eteria?

Is it true that the cow crossed the road to get to the udder side?

Is it true that the cow jumped over the moon because she wanted to see udder space?

Did you know that the reason why a milking stool only has three legs is because the cow has the udder?

What did the coach say to motivate his team of  cows? “Now get out there and give me 2 percent!”

If you feel like you’ve herd all these cow puns before, you’re probably just experiencing deja-moo.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ~ Dale Carnegie

Friday Funny October 4, 2024 Jokes to Bring the Family Together

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Happy Friday!  Welcome to the fourth quarter of 2024!  The year is flying by.  This weekend, I will have the privilege to see some of my extended family members and spend a little time back where my family has been for many generations.  It seems appropriate then to kick off this Friday with some family jokes.

Enjoy!

Family reunions are the place where embarrassing stories become legendary tales.

Family reunions are sort of like software updates, you never know what improvements or glitches you’ll discover.

Family reunions are where we put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional.

When I was a young child, I had a rare disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day.  Luckily, my big brother discovered it and helped me stay on track with the cure.

When I was young, my sister thought she was so smart.  She said onions are the only food that makes you cry. I threw a coconut at her and proved her wrong.

You know, I wouldn’t trade my siblings for the world.  I don’t have anywhere to put it.

My Uncle used to say, “When one door closes, another opens.”  He was a decent philosopher, but not so great as a cabinet maker.

A sweater is something that you put on when your mother gets cold.

I once asked my Dad if he could explain a solar eclipse to me.  He replied, “No sun.”

My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he turned 60. By the time he was in his 80’s, we had no idea where he was.

You know families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts mixed in.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“‘Ohana’ means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” —Lilo & Stitch.

Friday Funny September 27, 2024 Jokes for Fall

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Happy Friday!  The days are getting shorter and the leaves are turning, it must be time for some fall jokes.

Enjoy!

Is it true that pumpkins sit on people’s porches because they do not have hands to knock on the door?

Is it true that a scarecrow’s favorite fruit is strawberries?

The best time to make a jack-o-lantern is whenever you can carve it out.

Next week I am going shopping for Reynolds Wrap because my wife said she wanted to see fall foliage.

If a horse refuses to pull a wagon through the pumpkin patch would that make it a neigh ride?

Would you call a pumpkin that works at the beach a life gourd?

If you eat too much pumpkin pie, would you autumn’y ache?

Did you hear about the robot couple who had their anniversary in the fall because they were autumn mated?

Did you hear about the apple that cried because its peelings were hurt?

Did you hear about the leaf that went to the doctor because it was feeling a bit crumbly?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky.” ~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

Friday Funny September 20, 2024 Pirate Jokes to Treasure

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Happy Friday!  In case you missed it, September 19 was “Talk Like A Pirate Day.” The day may be over, but we can still tell a few Pirate Jokes.

Enjoy!

I heard that it is hard to play cards with pirates because they always stand on the deck.

Did you know that pirates like to communicate at sea with Aye phones?

I once came across a pirate who was having a heart attack, he said “Arrrr, me hearty!”

Did you hear about the pirate who went to the Apple store to buy an iPatch?

I heard that a pirate’s least favorite exercise is the plank.

Did you know that a pirate’s favorite store is Tarrrget?

Did you know that a pirates favorite kind of socks is  Arrrgyle?

I heard about a philosophical pirate – he thinks, therefore he Arrrrrr.

Would you call a pirate who loves to read a bookaneer?

Did you know that the preferred haircut for pirates is a crew cut?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirates’ loot on Treasure Island.” ~ Walt Disney

Friday Funny September 13, 2024 – 13 Jokes for Friday the 13th.

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Happy Friday the 13th!  Hopefully you do not suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia, the fear of Friday the 13th.  This is a day just like any other day.  Actually you are in luck, here are 13 jokes about Friday the 13th.

It may be Friday the 13th, but I am not superstitious, I’m just a little ‘stitious.

I used to live on the 13th floor but I recently moved up to the 14th floor, but that’s another story.

I heard that on Friday the 13th Italian people like to eat Fettuccini Afraid-o.

I heard that on Friday the 13th ghosts like to eat spook-eti.

I heard that cops arrested a black cat on Friday the 13th; they said she was a purr-petrator.

I heard that a vampire’s favorite type of coffee on Friday the 13th is decoffin-ated.

I heard that Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th movies) likes his coffee strong and deca-pitated.

What’s the first thing a sorority girl does on Friday the 13th? Nothing. She’s the first to go.

You know, cracking a serial killer jokes on Friday the 13th is acceptable as long as they are properly executed.

I am curious, if Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th do prices get slashed?

Would Friday the 13th be even scarier if it were on a Monday?

They say if a black cat crosses your path on Friday the 13th, it’s bad luck. But let’s be honest, at my age, bending down to shoo it away is the real hazard.

Friday the 13th? Bah! I lived through disco. Now THAT was scary.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.” ~ Groucho Marx