Tag Archives: social-distancing

Friday Funny June 12, 2020 Jokes At A Distance

Happy Friday!  Hoping this finds you well.  If you are getting a little tired of social distancing, I cannot change your circumstances but perhaps I can help you laugh at them for a moment.

Enjoy!

I’ve been practicing social distancing for so long that Sasquatch has a blurry picture of me hanging on his wall.

During this time of social distancing, I decided to become an entrepreneur in the coal industry.  Yep, I am mining my own business.

To fill the time while social distancing, I started a band called The Introverted Pessimists.  You’ve probably never heard of us, but that’s fine with me.

I heard schools are developing a new course on this whole distancing thing.  They will call it “anti-social studies.”

Is it true that pirates agree with each other over long distances by using their aye-phones?

Is it true that elephants communicate over long distances by elephone?

I heard that Flat Earthers are not very fond of all this social distancing.  They think it might push some over the edge.

Speaking of distancing, if Elon Musk’s space company establishes a Mars colony, and you had a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, would she be called your Space X?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Love is essential, gregariousness is optional.” ~ Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

Friday Funny May 8, 2020 Thoughts to Ponder While Social-Distancing

Happy Friday!  Another week of social-distancing is in the books!  Here is hoping you and yours are well and still sane.  The slower pace of these days lends itself to some contemplation.  If you have run out of things to roll over in your mind, let me offer a few items for you to consider.

Enjoy!

Which is better the Library of Congress System or the Dewey Decimal System?

If life had a sound track, what song is currently playing?

Why didn’t the Coyote ever go back and try to improve a plan instead of just scrapping it and coming up with a new one?  Where did the Coyote get all the money that he spent buying Acme products?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?  Isn’t it already sour?  Does it turn back into cream?  

Why are blueberries purple instead of blue?  Shouldn’t we call them purpleberries?

Why is the word for “fear of long words” one of the longest words in the dictionary? (hippotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia) Try to work this word into your next conversation!

When you say ‘Forward’ or ‘Back’, your lips move in those directions.  Say ‘Forward’ and ‘Back’ over and over again.

With all this bread baking going on did anyone ever pause to think that we are giving thousands of yeast organisms a false hope by feeding them sugar, then ruthlessly baking them to death in an oven and finishing it off by eating their corpses?

As drones get cheaper and cheaper how long until someone invents a hands-free umbrella?

If we say a “ton of people” we intend it to mean many, but it would literally be 12 to 15 people.

Why do phone plans offer “unlimited minutes” can you use more than 1,440 in a day?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“If you cup runneth over, be sure and let it slosh on someone else” ~ unknown