Happy Friday! It seems like the only thing on television this time of year is re-runs. So, I thought it was a good time to dust off this funny about what the outcome might be if Shakespeare had a smart phone and was texting.

Enjoy!

A orse, a orse! My kngdm 4 a orse!

2B or nt 2 B, dats Q

dis abov ll: 2 thine own self B tru

F?, Romans, countrymen, lend me yr ears; I cum 2 bury Caesar, nt 2 kudos him

What’s ina nme? dat wich we cll @>–>– By Ny oder nme w%d smel as swEt.

d ldy doth protest 2 mch, methinks

ll d world’s a stage, n ll d men n women merely playAs; they’ve their exits n theirentrances, n 1man n hs tym plays mnE parts

 

der r mor fings n heaven n erth, Horatio, thN r dremt of n yr ethos

gud nyt, gud partin S such swEt sorrw

Now S d wintr of r discontent

somit S rotten n d st8 of Denmark.

ll dat glisters aint Au

w@ lyt thru yonDr windO breaks

w@ fools deez mortals B!

dis wz d most unkindest cut of ll

2 zzz, perchance 2 dream- ay, there’s d rub

w’r such stuf As drms r md on; n r lil lyf S rounded W a zzz.

lov l%ks nt W d Iyz bt W d mind

Cowards di mnE tyms b4 their deaths, d valiant nvr taste of deth bt 1s

Im constant as d northin (*)

Translated into Plain English

A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse! – Richard The Third

To be or not to be, that is question – Hamlet

This above all: to thine own self be true – Hamlet

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. – Julius Caesar

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet. – Romeo and Juliet

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.- Hamlet

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts, – As You Like It

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Hamlet
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow- Romeo And Juliet

Now is the winter of our discontent – Richard The Third

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark – Hamlet

All that glitters is not gold – The Merchant of Venice

What light through yonder window breaks – Romeo And Juliet

What fools these mortals be! – A Midsummer Nights Dream

This was the most unkindest cut of all – Julius Caesar

To sleep, perchance to dream-ay, there’s the rub. – Hamlet

We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep. – The Tempest

Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind. – A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Cowards die many times before their deaths,
The valiant never taste of death but once. – Julius Caesar

I am constant as the northern star – Julius Caesar

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.” — As You Like It