Author Archives: Leonard

Friday Funny July 17, 2014 An Assortment of Jokes

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Congratulations!  You have made it though another week.  Here are a few jokes to hopefully give you smile as this work week comes to a close.

Enjoy!

Leonard

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there. 

I told my friend that she drew her eyebrows on too high.  She looked surprised.

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

The urge to sing ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ is never more than a whim away.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta

Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One says to the other, ‘Can you smell fish?

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.  And then I saw her face.

Have you ever started to eat a horse and then realised that you weren’t that hungry after all?

What do you call a dog who can do magic?  A Labracadabrador.

A blonde and her husband were watching the evening news together when the anchor announced, “In international news, there was a disaster near Rio de Janeiro today when five Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident.”  With that the blonde burst into tears, and her husband tried unsuccessfully to comfort her. “They were participating on a risky sport, and they knew the dangers,” he said. Through her tears, the blonde woman said “But that’s just so terrible! How many is a Brazilian?”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. ~Author Unknown

 

IF SHAKESPEARE HAD TO TEXT

shakespeare

A orse, a orse! My kngdm 4 a orse!

2B or nt 2 B, dats Q

dis abov ll: 2 thine own self B tru

F?, Romans, countrymen, lend me yr ears; I cum 2 bury Caesar, nt 2 kudos him

What’s ina nme? dat wich we cll @>–>– By Ny oder nme w%d smel as swEt.

d ldy doth protest 2 mch, methinks

ll d world’s a stage, n ll d men n women merely playAs; they’ve their exits n theirentrances, n 1man n hs tym plays mnE parts

 

der r mor fings n heaven n erth, Horatio, thN r dremt of n yr ethos

gud nyt, gud partin S such swEt sorrw

Now S d wintr of r discontent

somit S rotten n d st8 of Denmark.

ll dat glisters aint Au

w@ lyt thru yonDr windO breaks

w@ fools deez mortals B!

dis wz d most unkindest cut of ll

2 zzz, perchance 2 dream- ay, there’s d rub

w’r such stuf As drms r md on; n r lil lyf S rounded W a zzz.

lov l%ks nt W d Iyz bt W d mind

Cowards di mnE tyms b4 their deaths, d valiant nvr taste of deth bt 1s

Im constant as d northin (*)

Translated into Plain English

A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse! – Richard The Third

To be or not to be, that is question – Hamlet

This above all: to thine own self be true – Hamlet

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. – Julius Caesar

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet. – Romeo and Juliet

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.- Hamlet

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts, – As You Like It

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Hamlet
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow- Romeo And Juliet

Now is the winter of our discontent – Richard The Third

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark – Hamlet

All that glitters is not gold – The Merchant of Venice

What light through yonder window breaks – Romeo And Juliet

What fools these mortals be! – A Midsummer Nights Dream

This was the most unkindest cut of all – Julius Caesar

To sleep, perchance to dream-ay, there’s the rub. – Hamlet

We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep. – The Tempest

Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind. – A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Cowards die many times before their deaths,
The valiant never taste of death but once. – Julius Caesar

I am constant as the northern star – Julius Caesar

Friday Funny July 11, 2014 How to Give Your Cat and/or Dog a Pill

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This one has been making the rounds on the internet for years, but it still makes me laugh.

Enjoy!

How To Give Your Cat A Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to
close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink large soda to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply
cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply antiseptic compress to cheek to disinfect. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little vermin’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way
home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from Hades and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL

1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
3. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Thought for the Weekend

In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. ~Dereke Bruce

http://www.quotegarden.com

 

PIMENTO CHEESE

PIMENTO CHEESE

I am not usually a picky eater, I try to be open to new and different foods. There are even a few odd things that I do eat like the occasional grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwich. As they say, “Don’t knock it until you try it.” (This is not peanut butter and jelly on toast – when I say grilled, I mean  “grilled” peanut and butter sandwich where you make the sandwich, butter the bread and grill it in a pan on the stove.) I do have a word of caution –  If you give it a try, do be careful the contents may be hot and a bit messy as well, but it is worth a little mess.

Yet, there is at least one food that I do not like – I do not like it here or there, I do not like it anywhere and that is a pimento cheese sandwich. It has taken me the better part of fifty years to communicate this little piece of information to my Mother, but I think I finally have it firmly established. I am not really certain why I do not like pimento cheese; in fact I am not really certain what a pimento is. So, I conducted an exhaustive and lengthy two-minute search on the Internet and I discovered that a pimento is actually a pepper!

The pimento is a large, red, heart-shaped chili pepper that grows to be 3-4 inches long and 2-3 inches wide. They say that the flesh of the pimento is “sweet, succulent and more aromatic” than that of the red bell pepper. Now tell me, have you ever seen a whole pimento pepper? Do you know anyone who ate a whole pimento pepper? If these peppers are so succulent why are there only two know uses for them in the civilized world: 1) sticking them in the middle of a green olive and 2) adding them to a ton of sharp cheddar cheese, a half ton of mayonnaise, a little salt and a little pepper to make pimento cheese spread which, obviously is a lot more cheese and mayonnaise than pimento. It is a little known fact that because they cut these peppers up so small, the entire world-wide crop of pimento peppers is grown on less than a ½ acre in the backyard of a guy in Mississippi.

I hear that Pimento cheese is very popular in the South and, oddly enough, in the Philippines as well. I usually like Southern comfort foods and I have deep southern roots, I have lived in the south and the “deep south”, but I have never acquired a taste for pimento cheese. I acquired a taste for black-eyed peas, grits, even okra, but not pimento cheese.

I am told that you can’t find pimento cheese in Boston, maybe I will take a trip up there and introduce them to grilled peanut butter and jelly.

Friday July 4, 2014 Happy Fourth!

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IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good. He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them. He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only. He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures. He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people. He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within. He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands. He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries. He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance. He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures. He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power. He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation: For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us: For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States: For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world: For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent: For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury: For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies: For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments: For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever. He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us. He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people. He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation. He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands. He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Danger on the Roads

Cone

I know that with a ling holiday weekend just around the corner that many will be taking to the roads.  So, I wanted to take just a minute of your time to warn you of a little noticed and little understood danger that is lurking on the roadways all across our great nation.  This is something that you have encountered numerous times on your drive to work or school or shopping, perhaps even today without ever giving it a second thought.  It is a silent, stalking creature that moves slowly, almost imperceptibly along our road ways claiming everything that gets in its way.  I am speaking of the ravenous creature know as araungicus barilis or more commonly called “orange barrels.”  In the infant stage, this creature stands about two feet high and is cone shaped; as it matures it begins to reach a height of about feet and begins to round out so that it resembles a large orange barrel. 

These creatures often travel in large herds, usually in a single line formation that can stretch for miles.  The adult barrels are usually seen in the middle of the herd with the cone-like children at the front and the back.  Scientists believe that these creatures are migratory, going south in the winter and making their way north again as the weather warms.  They appear to have a rather voracious appetite for asphalt leaving mile upon mile of road torn up and unusable.  Once they have found a good place to graze, they seem to stay for months, barely moving as they silently feed only to disappear when the cold weather arrives.  While these creatures appear harmless and almost stationary, they can be frightening when they attack, as evidenced by the almost universal presence of idle machinery along their path.  We can only assume that they have either eaten, attacked or frightened off the workers who had used these machines in a vain attempt to protect the roads from the destructive force of this silent menace.    Although they appear almost motionless while feeding, once they have consumed all the pavement in one area, they have the ability to travel quickly to another area where they can appear overnight to begin destroying another stretch of road.  

So be careful while you are out on the roads this Fourth or July weeekend.  Those little cones and barrels along the road may appear still and harmless, but don’t let them fool you or you just might be their next victim.  Drive safely!

Friday Funny June 27, 2014 A Sad Bunny Tale with a Hoppy Ending

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A woman was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. She quickly swerved in an effort to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped right in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive lady as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the unfortunate rabbit.

Much to her dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful she began to
cry.

Another woman driving down the highway saw the first woman crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the lady what was wrong.

“I feel terrible,” she explained. “I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it,” she sobbed.

The second woman told the first woman not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out an aerosol spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Suddenly and miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road.

Fifty yards away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, then it hopped down the road another fifty yards, turned, waved, and hopped another fifty yards.

The first woman was astonished. She couldn’t understand what substance could be in the woman’s spray can that could have such an impact. She ran over to the second woman and asked, “What was in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?”

The second woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said:

” ‘Hare Spray’ Restores Life to Dead Hare…Adds Permanent Wave.”

Thought for the Week

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. ~Winston Churchill

 

Not Quite So Rough

05-07-2011 12;18;44PM

My grandfather was born in the 1890’s, he served in World War I, and he could tell stories of living on the farm with no electricity, no plumbing, no cars. My father was born in the early 1920’s, he served in World War II, and he could tell stories of living on the farm, no electricity, no plumbing, no cars. They could also tell fantastic stories of living in the farmhouse – of how the rain sounded when it would hit the tin roof in the summer and of waking up with frost on their noses and snow on their bed in the winter. They could tell stories of the depression and it’s aftermath;  of the sacrifices needed to win two world wars.

I was born at end of the 1950’s and I am not sure what stories I have to tell my grandchildren about how hard it was when I was growing up.  I guess I could mention that I did actually walk to school from kindergarten through eighth grade, but it was only across the street.  So what can I say? “Let me tell you about life growing up in the 1960’s. We only had one television and it was black and white plus we only had three stations to choose from and get this young fella – when we wanted to change the station – why we had to get up off the couch and walk all the way across the room and actually turn a knob on the TV!  And we didn’t have no fancy microwave ovens – we had to actually turn on the stove if you wanted to cook something. In summer, when it was hot, we opened a window and maybe plugged in a fan to help cool down. I went to schools that didn’t have air conditioning and when we did math all we had to use was pencil and paper.”

Yet, as bad as I have it in the life was not so rough department, what stories will my children have to tell their grandchildren? “Why I remember back at the end of the twentieth century, 3-D TV had not even been invented, that was even before HDTV, our TV only had 150 TV stations and we didn’t even have a TiVo in every room. I can remember when we had to use something called “dial up” to get on the internet, we had to use a phone LINE.  You probably won’t believe this, but there was an actual line that went right into your house in order to use the phone. Why I can even remember Super Nintendo and Playstation 1 and sometimes we had to play on a screen that was less that thirty-six inches across! Cell phones?  I didn’t even get my own phone until I was sixteen!  Yes, we had it rough, if we wanted to listen to music we had to use something called a Compact Disc, where the music was actually put onto a little disc and you had to carry the disc around and put it in a player to listen to it, you see way back in the last millennium, there were no digital downloads, yep we had it rough.”

Don’t you envy our parents and grandparents? They had it easy when it came to telling stories about having it rough.

Friday Funny June 20, 2014 T-Shirt Philosophy

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Happy Friday!  Here are some tidbits of wisdom to get your weekend off to a quick start.

Enjoy!

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week!

I once had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Mental backup in progress – Do Not Disturb!

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film. (In my case, nothing ever develops!)

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. 

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

I would play more golf, but I always have trouble getting by the windmill.

I had a blind date once, but her dog wouldn’t get in the car.

I was engaged to a girl with a wooden leg, but I got mad and broke it off.

I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Thought for the Week

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday. ~Author Unknown

We All Scream for Ice Cream!

 

Shearer

The official start of summer is only a few days away.  The warmer and longer have many looking to cool off with a couple of dips of ice cream. (Hot or cold, I am always ready for some ice cream!)  For much of my childhood I pretty much stuck with the basics of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.  You might be surprised to know that with all the various and sundry flavors out there, vanilla, chocolate and strawberry still account for approximately 70% of ice cream sales .

However, when I was in high school my eyes, or should I say my taste buds, were opened to the almost limitless combinations that can be made with the various flavors and toppings that can be found at an ice cream parlor.  My horizons were widened when I began working at Sherer’s Ice Cream in Dayton, Ohio. (When it comes to dipping ice cream at my house, I still take the scoop and say, “Stand back, I’m a professional, let me handle this.” I soon learned the joy of flavors like root beer float, peppermint, strawberry cheesecake, eggnog, pumpkin, coffee and most of the other 36 flavors that were available.

Around that same time Baskin Robbins came out with a couple of seasonal flavors I really liked, baseball nut and banana bunt – maybe I just liked them for the baseball references. Baseball Nut was vanilla ice cream swirled with a black raspberry ribbon and crunchy cashews. Banana Bunt was a banana flavor with peanuts if I recall correctly.

However, even I had to draw the line somewhere and I drew it at rum raisin and fruit salad, two of Mr. Sherer less favorite concoctions.  Yet, even these sound “normal” compared to some that have made the rounds in recent years. So, if you want to get your licks on the wild side, here are a few flavors you can find right here in the good ‘ole USA.

• French Toast-with bits of French toast and maple, the breakfast of champions?
• Buttered Popcorn – a flavor with butter pecan and caramel popcorn – perfect for movie night.
• Strawberry Basil – what compels one to put herbs in ice cream?
• Firehouse 31- think Atomic Fireball ice cream.
• Creole Cream Cheese- a cream-cheese-like base and a spicy kick.
• Coconut Jalapeno – coconut with a big kick.
• Licorice – black ice cream, only slightly creepy.
• Garlic – only at the Gilroy Garlic Festival in Gilroy, California, wonder if it keeps the vampires away?
• Maple Bacon Sundae – you can thank Denny’s for this one.
• Breakfast in Bed – a vanilla ice cream base with pasteurized egg yolks, real maple syrup and bacon! Just don’t drip on your pillow.
• Lobster Ice Cream from Ben & Bill’s Chocolate Emporium in Bar Harbor, a butter ice cream-based treat with fresh (again buttered) lobster folded into each bite. I wonder if it makes a sound if you boil it?
• Pear With Blue Cheese, a well-balanced mix of sweet Oregon Trail Bartlett Pears mixed with crumbles of Rogue Creamery’s Crater Lake Blue Cheese. Seems like everything is a little strange on the West Coast.
• “Real” Eskimo ice cream or Akutag as the locals would call it. It is overflowing with enough fresh berries for your sweet tooth; however, its base is actually animal fat (reindeer, caribou, possibly even whale). My guess is that you will have a hard time finding a low calorie version of this one.