Believe it or not, the first movie you see with a date is a pretty good indicator of the outcome of the relationship.  Don’t tune me out just yet.  The other day I was thinking about first date movies that I saw and I realized that they were very accurate indicators of what I was getting into.  (Not that I had that many first dates in my life – I only need one hand to count them and I don’t even need all the digits).  So, stay with me as I tell my tale.

“Follow Me Boys” – this was the first movie I ever saw on a “real” date.  I was only 16 and looking for something that would not embarrass me or my date and this Disney movie that had been re-released to theaters seemed like a safe bet.  Basic plot was guy comes to town and ends up staying in an effort to woo girl away from rival. Everything falls neatly into place and everyone lives happily ever after.  Yeah, like that happens in the real world.  Of course in real life, things never quite translate from a Disney movie and in real life one does not usually spend one’s life with the first person one ever goes on a date with.  Pieces seldom fall into place that easily.   Real life is never easy or neat.  Needless to say this was not my last first date.  Side note – Walt Disney died two weeks after the film’s original release.

“Night of the Living Dead” – a classic low-budget movie which probably should have been a real clue to the young lady I saw this with.  It is a movie about zombies and there are no “happy endings” in zombie movies.  Another thing about zombies is that it is hard to determine if they are dead or alive, just like it was hard to figure out if this was really a “date” or just spending some time with someone who became a very good friend.

“Sliver Streak” – a nice lighthearted comedy with a bit of mystery and suspense mingled in.  This one sounds like it would have the makings for a great and dynamic dating relationship.  However, the train runs out of control and the film ends with a rather spectacular train wreck.  First date movies of disasters and/or horror (see “Night of the Living Dead” above) are best avoided.  The relationship was fun, but it did not end well.

“Doc Savage, The Man of Bronze” –  a pretty cheesy movie that you have probably never heard of – a bad Indiana Jones movie a few years before “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”  The thing was, it had all the pieces: the handsome, dashing hero; the beautiful, captivating damsel; good versus evil – however, all the pieces just did not quite come together as intended.  At perhaps the most romantic moment of the movie, when everyone is waiting for Doc to tenderly kiss his damsel in distress he gives her a little tap on the chin and says, “Mona, You’re a Brick.”  The pieces were there, but things just did not work out for this relationship.

“The In-Laws” – (1979 version)  a movie about a couple preparing to get married, there was a lot of suspense, conflict, and comedy with some crazy parents mixed in as well.  Everything in this movie was just pretty messy and confusing leading up to and including the wedding. Now that sounds pretty much like real life and the young lady I took to see that movie as a first date has been my wife for more than thirty years now.