Trick or Treat

For me Halloween has always been about the candy. It wasn’t about scary stuff or pranks, it was about candy. What other time of the year did you get to go to every house in the neighborhood knock on the door, ask for candy and someone would actually give it to you? I can still remember the excitement of coming home and dumping out the pillow case (no small plastic pumpkin for me) as all the goodies would pile out onto the floor in one glorious heap of blissful, useless calories. I am thankful that my Trick or Treat days were before the advent of that hideous abomination called “fun-size.” Personally I think full size is a lot more fun than fun size.

Costumes were simpler then too – a plastic cigar that could shoot out baby powder instantly transformed you into a hobo. A sheet with a few holes made you a ghost – the effect was not quite the same if the sheet had a flowered pattern.  I always suggested to my sons that they dress up like an accountant for Trick or Treat, but for some odd reason they never bought into that idea.

So, be nice to the little ones that come knocking at your door this week and take advantage of the opportunity to meet your neighbors. But if you want to make a good impression, there are some treats you might want to avoid.

There are a number of “Ten Worst Trick or Treat Candies” lists out there. So after my own exhaustive research, here is my list.

10. Bubble gum – chewing it just keeps you from moving onto the chocolate.
9. Stickers – can’t eat them and Mom won’t let you put them on the furniture.
8. Coupons – Trick or Treat is a time for instant gratification.
7. Anything homemade – Mom knows all the urban legends.
6. Candy Corn – the fruit cake of Trick or Treat.                                                                                5. Those Peanut Butter flavored things in orange and black wrappers – do they even sell these any other time of the year?
4. Raisins – unless they are chocolate covered.
3. Apples – unless they are covered in caramel and nuts and factory sealed for your protection.
2. Little wax bottles filled with juice – is it a drink or a chew – the world may never know.
1. Toothbrushes – that is just being cruel.
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