Tag Archives: Taxes

Friday Funny April 16, 2021 Tax Jokes

Happy Friday! Congratulations if your 2020 Tax Returns have been filed and you can forget about them for awhile. If you filed an extension, then there are still “fun times” ahead for you this year. Either way, let’s have a little tax related humor this week.

Enjoy!

April 16, the day that Americans wake up in a daze from a case of intoxication.

Every year around April 15 many Americans have a rendezvous with debt.

Death and taxes may be inevitable, but death doesn’t repeat itself every April 15th.

You may not enjoy paying income taxes, but it could be worse.  What if you had to pay taxes based on that you think you are worth?

Doesn’t it seem like a misnomer that we call them “tax returns” when so little of it does.

It is said that a fool and his money are soon parted. For the rest of us it happens around April 15.

Have you ever noticed that a “slight tax increase” costs you about $500, while a “substantial tax cut” lowers your taxes by about $50.

I hear that the IRS is a great place to work. Everybody counts.

Is it true that Spiderman pays more income tax than all the other Superheros because he has more NET income?

Is it true that CPAs make better detectives than Sherlock Holmes because they make more deductions?

Did you hear about the CPA who decided to make a bold fashion statement and wore dark gray socks instead of light gray?

We just hired an ex-con, who was in prison for tax evasion, to do our landscaping.  Man, does he know how to cut corners!

I’d tell you some more tax jokes, but I doubt you would depreciate them.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” ~Albert Einstein

Friday Funny April 15, 2016 Many Happy Returns

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It is THAT time of year.  This Friday brings us to April 15 and here is hoping you have your taxes finished.  If not, the good news is that this year you have an additional three days to get everything in order by the eighteenth.  So, with that little bit of “good” news, I leave you a few hopefully humorous thoughts about taxes.

Enjoy! 

The futility of riches is stated very plainly in two places: the Bible and the Form 1040.

Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth – less 40 percent inheritance tax.

If my business gets much worse, I won’t have to lie on my next tax return.

There is no child so bad that he/she can’t be used as an income tax deduction.

The path of civilization is paved with tax receipts.

A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us wait until April 15 or, as is the case this year, April 18.

Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then wind up in the hole.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.

The income tax forms have been simplified beyond all understanding.

After a man pays his income tax, he knows how a cow feels after she’s been milked.

Suppose we had to pay on what we think we are worth?

George Washington never told a lie, but then he never had to file a Form 1040.

The guy who said that truth never hurts never had to fill out a Form 1040.

Come to think of it, these income-tax forms leave little to the imagination and even less to the taxpayer.

Filling out your own income tax return is something like a do-it-yourself mugging.

Behind every successful man stands a woman and the IRS. One takes the credit, and the other takes the cash.

A lot of people still have the first dollar they ever made – Uncle Sam has all the others.

A harp is a piano after taxes.

Of course you can’t take it with you, and with high taxes, lawyer’s fees, and funeral expenses you can’t leave it behind either.

A dime is a dollar with all the various taxes deducted.

The reward for saving money is being able to pay our taxes without borrowing.

A political promise today means another tax tomorrow.

Patrick Henry ought to come back and see what taxation with representation is like.

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.

We wonder why they call them “tax returns” when so little of it does.

The best things in life are still free, but the tax experts are working overtime on the problem.

Thought for the Week

It’s about ten times the size of the Bible — and unlike the Bible, contains no good news. ~Don Nickles, about the Internal Revenue Code

http://www.quotegarden.com