Friday Funny October 3, 2014

lobstere

Happy October and Happy Friday!  I hope you have had a great week.  I know what you are thinking this Friday, you are thinking, “It has been a long time since I have heard some lobster jokes.”  So, just for you here are some.

Enjoy! 

Who gives out presents to lobsters on Christmas?

Santa Claws!

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Why doesn’t the lobster like to share with his friends?

Because he’s shellfish!

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Where does a lobster keep his clothes?

In the clawset!

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If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get?
Snappy talk.

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One day a lobster fisherman was out in a rowboat with his wife when she accidentally fell overboard. Despite the fisherman’s valiant efforts, he could not find her.  Tired and despondent, he rowed back home. Early the next day, his friend come running down the dock shouting, “I found your wife! She got tangled up in my trap lines and she’s got thirty lobsters sticking to her! What should I do?” The fisherman replied, “Quick, pull off the lobsters and set her again!”

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A seafood restaurant had a sign in the window that read, “Big Lobster Tales, $5 each.”

 Amazed at the great value, a man stopped in and asked the waitress, “I saws the sign in the window.  Five dollars each for lobster tails — is that correct?”  

“Yes,” she said. “It’s our special just for today.”  

“Well,” he said, “I imagine they must be little lobster tails.”  

“No,” she reassured him, “it is a really big lobster tail.”  

“Are you sure they aren’t green lobster tails — and a little bit tough?”  

“No,” she said, “I is a really big red lobster tail.”  

“Big red lobster tails! $5 each!?” he said, amazed. “Then they must be old lobster tails!”

“No, they’re definitely today’s.”  

“Today’s big red lobster tails — $5 each?” he repeated, astounded.  

“Yes!” she insisted.  

“Well, here’s my five dollars,” he said. “I’ll take one.”  

The waitress took his money and seated him at a table in the restaurant.  Then she sat down next to him, gently put her hand on his shoulder, leaned over close to him, and said, “Once upon a time there was a really, really big red lobster…”

Thought for the Week

Good things come to those who bait.  ~Author Unknown

http://www.quotegarden.com

 

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