Monthly Archives: September 2026

Friday Funny September18, 2026 Random Jokes

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Happy Friday!  This week is a collection of random jokes.

Enjoy!

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I guess I should have put it on aloha setting.

I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.

I went to the wedding of two nuclear technicians. The bride was radiant, and the groom was glowing.

I went to the wedding of two florists. It was an arranged marriage.

I recently took a pole and determined that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

I have finally reached that age where everything is finally starting to click: my knees, my back, and my neck.

I hear there is a prize old people can win for aging: atrophy.

I read a story about a big explosion at a cheese factory, there was nothing left but debris.

If a Frenchman has been attacked by a cat would you call  him Claude?

Is it true that vampires drink their coffee decoffin-ated?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“There are no uninteresting things, only uninterested people.”~ G.K. Chesterton

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Friday Funny September 11, 2026 Jokes to Kick Off Another NFL Season

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Happy Friday!  Since this week is kicking off the NFL season, I thought I would huddle up some football jokes for you.

Enjoy!

Is it true that football players cannot wear glasses while playing because it is a contact sport?

Is it true that football centers wear hiking shoes?

Is it true that old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away?

Did you hear about the octopus who played football?  He had ten-tackles.

Did you hear about the football kicker who married his college sweetheart because she was a fair catch?

Did you hear about the quarterback who opened a bakery because he was great at turnovers?

What did the wide receiver say to the football?  Catch you later.

What is a football player’s favorite frozen treat?  Any given sundae.

What did the football player say to the flight attendant?  Put me in coach.

I heard that the best place to watch football is at the hairdressers. They say the coverage is the same but the highlights are better.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.” ~ Lou Holtz

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Friday Funny September 4, 2026 Copier Jokes for Labor Day

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Happy Friday! Happy Labor Day! We have come to the unofficial end of another summer that has flown by. As we come to the holiday tat celebrates workers, I thought I would share some copier-related jokes which is the world I work in.

Enjoy!

I really like working at a place that sells copiers, I feel like we are all on the same page.

We had to let someone go for stealing printer cartridges, poor guy was caught magenta handed.

The other day I was making a lot of photocopies of strawberries and I ended up with a paper jam.

I keep my printer off to the side of me where I can see it in my peripheral vision.

I had an HP printer that died, it was like a Brother to me.

Last week I took my printer to the gym to get toner.

I have been told that a new 3D printers can print a gun. So what? I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

Is it true that printers cut their hair with paper clips?

If a printer could perform miracles, would it get Canonized?

I had a joke about printer paper but it’s tearable.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

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