Monthly Archives: August 2026

Friday Funny August 28, 2026 Old Jokes

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Older man reading an open book in a cozy living room
An older man enjoys a book in his warmly lit living room.

Happy Friday! As school is starting up again, I am reminded that this time 50 years agoI was getting ready for my senior year of high school.  That really makes me feel old!  Here are some old jokes to celebrate.

Enjoy!

I saw a 70’s cover band that dressed up as cookies, their name was OREO Speedwagon.

I heard there is a prize old people can win for aging, atrophy.

I’m so old I remember when dial-up internet was cutting edge.

I’m so old my music listening has gone from vinyl to 8-track to cassette to CD’s to streaming to vinyl.

When I was in college there was a fire in my apartment and I lost all my 70s records, it was a disco inferno.

I try not to let aging get me down. It is just too hard to get back up again.

I plan on growing fruit trees in retirement, I want to live to a ripe old age.

I have come to the realization that nostalgia ain’t what it used to be.

I was going to add another joke about retirement, but it doesn’t work.

I was going to add another joke about aging, but I forget what it was.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

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Friday Funny August 21, 2026 End of Summer Jokes

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Happy Friday! It appears most school have started back which means we are saying good-bye to another summer.  Let’s bid adieu with some summer jokes,

Enjoy!

Did you know that hurricanes make good comedians because their punchlines always blow you away?

Did you know the reason that summer vacations do not last any longer is because they couldn’t handle the heat?

Did you know that the preferred sandal for a frog to wear is one that is open-toad?

Did you know that bananas wear sunscreen when they go to the beach because they peel?

Did you know that many people do not like beach umbrellas because they are so shady?

Did you hear about the ice cream truck driver who retired at the end of summer because he was tired of the daily melt-downs?

Did you hear about the teacher who jumped into the pool to test the water?

Did you hear about the watchmaker who decided to go on vacation so he could unwind?

Did you hear about the scientist who put on an excessive amount of sunscreen because she was a paleontologist?

If you need to clean the ocean, should you call a mermaid?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Summer’s lease hath all too short a date.” ~ William Shakespeare

Friday Funny August 14, 2026 Back-to-School Jokes

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Happy Friday!  Since the summer has flown, it is time for some more back-to-school jokes.

Enjoy!

If you crossed a teacher with a vampire would you get lots of blood tests?

If you crossed an algebra class with the prom would you get a quadratic formal?

If you were the leader of an AP biology gang would that make you the Nucleus?

Is it true that the favorite vegetables of librarians are quiet peas?

Is it true that chemistry students tell the worst jokes because all the good jokes argon?

Did you hear about the music teacher who could not get into his classroom because his keys were on the piano?

Did you hear about the girl who wore glasses to math class because she thought it would improve her di-vison?

Did you hear about the egg who got detention because he kept telling yolks?

Did you hear about the computer teacher who quit his job because he lost his drive?

Did you hear about the science teacher who would show up periodically?

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think”~ Margaret Mead

Friday Funny August 7, 2026 – Jokes That Bug Me

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Happy Friday!  We are in the midst of summer and summer means bugs, so here are some bugs jokes to kick off your Friday.

Enjoy!

Is it true that bugs get off the train at the infestation?

Is it true that a butterfly’s favorite subject in school is mothematics?

Is it true that in the Hungarian capital they kill unwanted insects with Budapesticide?

Did you know that the best smelling bugs are deodor-ants?

Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress and then got married in the spring?

Did you hear about the band made up of bed bugs? They mostly play covers.

Did you hear about the mother firefly who was sad because her children weren’t very bright?

Would you call a bug that hesitates before biting something a nervous tick?

If you ever see two snails fighting, you should just let them slug it out.

I did pretty well on my insect catching exam, I got a bee.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK