Friday Funny December 5, 2014 Santa Jokes

santa

Happy Friday!  Now that it is December, I thought it was time to break out the Santa Claus jokes.

Enjoy!

What do they call Santa’s helpers? ————————————-Subordinate clauses!

What kind of music do elves like best? —————————————“Wrap” music!

Who sings “Blue Christmas,” and makes Christmas toys? ——- Santa’s little Elvis!

What do you call Santa Clause after he’s fallen into a fireplace?——Krisp Kringle!

What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?————————-A cookie sheet!

Where do Santa’s reindeer like to stop for lunch?———————–Deery Queen!

What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?———————————————Comet!

Which of Santa’s reindeer needs to mind his manners the most?——“Rude”olph!

What is the cow’s holiday greeting?———————————-Mooooory Christmas!

What does Santa like to eat?———————————————————–A jolly roll!

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?——————–Sandy Claus!

What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?——————Santa Claus-trophbia!

What does Santa say when he is sick?————————————————–OH OH NO!

Who says Oh! Oh! Oh!—————————————————–Santa walking backwards.

What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas?————————-
A rebel without a Claus.

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?————————–Nothing, it was on the house.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper?—————–He sold his soul to Santa!

The 3 stages of man:

  1. He believes in Santa Claus.
  2. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
  3. He is Santa Claus.

 Thought for the Week

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L. Smith

http://www.quotegarden.com

 

 

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