Friday Funny February 13, 2015 Valentine Jokes

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Happy Friday and Happy (almost) Valentines Day!  They say one of the most attractive features a person can have is a sense of humor.  Unfortunately, I wouldn’t know.  But just in case you need a joke or three to impress that special someone this weekend, here is a gaggle of Valentine’s jokes chosen especially for you.

Enjoy!

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day?
Forget-me-nuts.

What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we’ll go places!

Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
No, but they had an Apple.

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

What did one snake say to the other snake?
Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.

What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
“I’ve got a crutch on you!”

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
“Be my valenstein!”

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine’s Day!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”

What did one pickle say to the other?
“You mean a great dill to me.”

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
“I love you a ton!”

What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
“You’re fun to hang around with.”

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pincushion!

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn’t suit his taste!

Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because spleens would look pretty gross!

What did the light bulb say to the switch?
You turn me on.

What did one light bulb say to the other?
“I love you a whole watt!”

Thought for the Week

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. ~Author Unknown

http://www.quotegarden.com

 

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