Friday Funny September 4, 2015 Chuck Norris “Facts”

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Happy Friday!  Happy Labor Day Weekend! This week I wanted to share some “facts” about TV and motion picture action star Chuck Norris.  In case you have not come across these, Chuck Norris “facts” are satirical factoids about the actor that have taken on a life of their own and spread around the world.  Here are some of my favorites.

Enjoy!

Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.

Chuck Norris can speak French… In Russian.

Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Once a rattlesnake bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the snake died.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris’s Blood Type is AK-47.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris won the tour de France, on a stationary bike.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

Chuck Norris Runs until the treadmill gets tired.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Thought for the Week

“Bacon is the Chuck Norris of food. There’s no reviewing it. It’s bacon. It reviews you. Now go.” – Anonymous 

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