Friday Funny January 1, 2016 Happy New Year!

free-new-years-eve-clip-art-1

Welcome to 2016!  Another year full of opportunity and possibility.  Here is wishing you the best for the coming year.  

One of the staples of year-end is the countdown:  the top stories of the year, the top songs of the year and so forth.  So, I thought why not the top jokes of the year?  Unfortunately I don’t have that list, but here is “a list” of ten jokes.

Enjoy!

Why aren’t koalas actual bears?  They don’t meet the koalafications.

I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?”  I said, “I don’t care what astrological sign it is.”

How did the hipster burn his mouth?  He ate the pizza before it was cool.

What’s a pirates favorite letter?  You think it’s R but it be the C.

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.  That’s just how I roll.

How do you make an egg-roll? You push it!

What did the cobbler say when a cat wandered into his shop?  Shoe!!

What do you do when you see a spaceman? PARK YOUR CAR, MAN

I used to be in a band, we were called ‘LOST DOG’. You probably saw our posters.

My boss called me into his office today. “We both know you’re not the brightest spark here, Leonard,” he said, “but over the last 8 years you’ve never been sick or late and I think you deserve a reward. So, how does a brand new car sound?” “Vrooom! Vrooooom!” I replied.

Thought for the Week

Be at War with your Vices, at Peace with your Neighbours, and let every New-Year find you a better Man. ~Quoted in Benjamin Franklin’s 1755 Poor Richard’s Almanac, December

http://www.quotegarden.com

 

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