Friday Funny April 22, 2016 Polly Wants A Joke

parrot-05

Happy Friday!  Spring is in the air and tax day is behind us!  You don’t want a cracker, you want a joke or two.

Enjoy!

Movies

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a parrot sitting next to him.

“Are you a parrot?” asked the man, surprised.

 “Yes.”

 “What are you doing at the movies?”

 The parrot replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

Pet Shop

 One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.

The pet shop owner takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one.

The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?”

The owner says, ” $2,000.”

The man is shocked and asks the owner why it’s so expensive. The owner explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows basic bookkeeping and accounting!”

”What about the green one?” the man asks.

The owner says, ”He costs $5,000 because he can prepare financial statements and prepare tax returns.”

”What about the red one?” the man asks.

The owner says, ”That one’s $10,000.”

The man asks, ”What does HE do?”

The owner says, ”I have not actually ever seen him do anything, but the other two call him Partner.” 

Parrot Auction

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid – the fine bird was finally his! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!” “Don’t worry”, said the Auctioneer, “He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”

Thought for the Week
 You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does — but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you’ll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it’s the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain’t so; it’s the sickening grammar they use. ~Mark Twain, A Tramp Abroad

http://www.quotegarden.com

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