Happy Friday! Last week I gathered some dog jokes to send out. So, in an effort to be fair and balanced, this week I found some cat jokes for you.
Q: What do cats use to make coffee? A: A purrcolator.
Q: What do you use to comb a cat? A: A catacomb.
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Q: What do you call a pile of kittens? A: a meowntain
Q: Why don’t cats like online shopping? A: They prefer a cat-alogue.
Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money? A: I’m paw!
Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? A: She had a litter of mittens.
Q: What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? A: The purrpatrator.
Q: What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants? A: Purrr-suasive.
Q: What do you feed an invisible cat? A: Evaporated milk.
Q: Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog? A: She was purr-plexed.
Q: Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas? A: She was a sher-paw.
Dogs vs. Cats Top 10 Differences
1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
2. Cats look silly on a leash.
3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.
4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born.
5. A dog knows when you’re sad. And he’ll try to comfort you. Cats don’t care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.
6. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.
7. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won’t go at all.
8. Dogs will come when you call them. And they’ll be happy. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.
9. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they’re in pain.
10. Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
Thought for the Week
In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. ~Dereke Bruce