Happy Friday! It is mid July and it is hotter than a firecracker on the fourth of July! You are probably ready to punch the next person that asks, “Is it hot enough for you? As they say we cannot do anything about the weather, so we might as well laugh at it.
“How hot is it? It is sooooooooo hot that
the cows are giving evaporated milk.
the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.
hot water now comes out of both taps.
you can actually burn your hand opening the car door.
you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
you start putting ice cubes in your water-bed (does anyone still have one of these?).
you can make instant sun tea.
your car overheats before you even start the engine.
you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
all the bread in the store is toast.
the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
the fire ants are really on fire.
the cornfield popped.
New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg was seen drinking a Big Gulp
Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner
I just saw a guy on the exit ramp with a sign that said “Will work for shade.”
Cincinnati Reds fans are taking the bags off of their heads.
I just fried a sidewalk in my good egg pan.
It was so hot that I found it rather uncomfortable.
Thought for the Week
What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. ~John Steinbeck