Happy Friday and Happy November! Here is little employment humor to help you work your way through Friday.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
My boss says I intimidate my co-workers; I just stared at him until he apologized.
I don’t work well under pressure… or any other circumstance.
I just hired a private investigator to find out what I do all day.
I have learned that a man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.
I asked the corporate wellness officer, “Can you teach me yoga?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can make it Tuesday or Thursday.”
I will go to work in the morning with an innocent, child-like belief today is the day people will think twice before hitting “Reply All.”
Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
I updated my resume and realized it is not much more than a list of things I hope I am never asked to do again.
I filled out a job application today, it asked for three references. I wrote, “an encyclopedia, a dictionary, and a thesaurus.”
Are claustrophobic people more productive when they are thinking outside of the box?
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory, they did let you park anywhere near the place.
I had a friend who got fired from his job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. Apparently it was a whisk he was willing to take.
Keep the dream alive: hit the snooze button.
Thought for the Week
“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” ~Stanley J. Randall