Tag Archives: work

Friday Funny September 14, 2018 It’s Off to Work We Go

Happy Friday!  Congratulations on making it through another work week and to celebrate here is a little work related humor.

Enjoy!

It seems like the only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

I think we have enough youth. I’ve started looking for the fountain of “Smart.”

Things really haven’t gotten worse. We’ve just improved our inter-departmental communication skills

I have found that a positive attitude may not solve all my problems, but it does annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

I think I was hired my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!

I am finding that I am at that age where work is a lot less fun and fun takes a lot more work.

My boss says that I tend to intimidate people, I just stared at him until he apologized.

Is efficiency merely a highly developed form of laziness?

The farther away the future is, the better it looks..

They say that we learn from our mistakes and it seems we never run out of study material.

I feel like my job is secure because no one in their right mind would want it.

I told my wife that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She said, “How do you know he was on his way to work?”

As I get older and think back on all the people I’ve lost along the way, I realize that just maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.

Thought for the Week

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don’t have a job. ~Malcolm S. Forbes

http://www.quotegarden.com

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Friday Funny November 3, 2017 Workplace Humor

Happy Friday and Happy November!  Here is little employment humor to help you work your way through Friday.

Enjoy!

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

My boss says I intimidate my co-workers; I just stared at him until he apologized.

I don’t work well under pressure… or any other circumstance.

I just hired a private investigator to find out what I do all day.

I have learned that a man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.

I asked the corporate wellness officer, “Can you teach me yoga?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can make it Tuesday or Thursday.”

I will go to work in the morning with an innocent, child-like belief today is the day people will think twice before hitting “Reply All.”

Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

I updated my resume and realized it is not much more than a list of things I hope I am never asked to do again.

I filled out a job application today, it asked for three references.   I wrote, “an encyclopedia, a dictionary, and a thesaurus.”

Are claustrophobic people more productive when they are thinking outside of the box?

I used to work at a fire hydrant factory, they did let you park anywhere near the place.

I had a friend who got fired from his job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment.  Apparently it was a whisk he was willing to take.

Keep the dream alive: hit the snooze button.

Thought for the Week

“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” ~Stanley J. Randall

http://www.quotegarden.com