Friday Funny November 10, 2017 Quick One Liners

Happy Friday!  Here is hoping that your sugar levels are returning to their pre=Halloween levels.  Here are some quick jokes to get you ready for the weekend.

Enjoy!

Do lions move at the end of summer because the pride goeth before the fall?

Just found out that my email password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the dog.

A dad is washing the car with his son. After a few moments, the son asks his father, “Do you think we could use a sponge instead?”

Let me tell you, the day that I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.

Every time I have a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away the children, just like the bottle says.

I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. Perhaps you have seen our posters.

Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

My wife was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that…

The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.

I grew a beard thinking it would say “Distinguished Gentleman.” Instead, turns out it says, “Senior Discount, Please!”

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

The future, the present and the past walked into a restaurant. Things got a little tense.

Thought for the Week

“Fall is that time of year when the leaves crinkle under your feet and the air crinkles in your nose.”

 

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