Tag Archives: Flying

Friday Funny May 15, 2015 High Flying Jokes


This week I flew for the first time in a long time which prompted me to find some flying related jokes chosen just for you.


A Blonde on a Plane

A blonde boards an airplane and immediately sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess comes over to her and politely tells her she must move to coach because she does not have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, I AM a first class person and I am staying in this seat until I get to Jamaica.”

The stewardess throws up her hands, walks away and gets the head stewardess who also asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, I AM a first class person and I am staying in this seat class until I get to Jamaica.” The head stewardesses is getting nervous now because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated in order to take off, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot walks up to the blonde, leans over and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, “Simple, I just told her the front half of the airplane wasn’t going to Jamaica.”

 Another Blonde on Another Plane

A different blonde has never flown before and is very excited to have an opportunity to fly. She is very nervous and tense as she boards the plane.  The stewardess announces that the plane they are flying on is a Boeing 747.  At this the excited blonde starts bouncing in her seat and shouting, “BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO…..” over and over and over again.

Caught up in the moment, she forgets where she is and continues to shout “BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!!”  The passengers are annoyed and even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Finally, the Pilot gets on the intercom and shouts “Be silent!” 

Now, there was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking over at the blonde. She stared off in the distance, bewildered, for a moment.  Then, all of a sudden, she starts shouting, “OEING! OEING! OEING! OE….”

 Two Birds on a Plane

Migration was approaching and two elderly vultures doubted they could make the long flight south again, so they decided to make it easy on themselves and go by airplane.

As they were checking their baggage at the airport, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. So, she asked, “Don’t you want to check the raccoons through as luggage?”  

“No, thanks,” replied the vultures. “They’re carrion.” 

Thought for the Week

“That’s not flying, that’s just falling with style” ~ Woody, from the 1996 movie Toy Story, regarding Buzz Lightyear



Straighten Up and Fly Right


I am a very infrequent flier.  In fact it has been a few years since I last boarded a plane.  Yet, today, I found myself looking to book a flight to Chicago in a couple of months.  I was quickly struck by the complete absence of logic in air fares.  I suppose I should have expected this because in the past I have saved money by taking a flight from Dayton, Ohio with a connection in Cincinnati because it was cheaper than just boarding in Cincinnati and I never quite understood that.

So, today I found that I could fly from Cincinnati to Chicago for $361 or from Dayton to Chicago for $355, not much difference in cost and the distance is about three hundred miles either way.  But here is where it gets weird.  I could save over fifty dollars if I took a flight that had a connection……in Atlanta!  So, I can travel approximately five hundred miles from Dayton to Atlanta and then seven hundred miles from Atlanta to Chicago and it is cheaper?  I am trying to figure  out how the airline makes money by charging less for me to fly four times the miles.

I wonder if I could reduce the cost even further by flying from Dayton to Los Angeles and then to Chicago or maybe to Honolulu first?  Perhaps if I go to Chicago by way of Sydney, Australia they will have to pay me!