Tag Archives: gas

Friday Funny May 15, 2026 Fill Up With These Gas Jokes

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Happy Friday! We are all dealing with higher gas prices these days, so we might as well get a laugh out of it.

Enjoy!

To fuel or not to fuel, that is the question.

Did you hear about the art thief whose van run out of gas when he tried to drive away from the museum?  It seems he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

These gas prices have me feeling sick.  I think I might have a case of the car-owner-virus

It is not often that I brag about going to expensive places, but I just left the gas station.

Today I needed to pick up paper, pens, and envelopes from the store, but since the price of gas is so high, I rode my stationery bike.

I went into a Speedway gas station this morning and asked for $3 worth of gas.  The clerk handed me a bean burrito.

Apparently, I have been banned from the gas station for playing ‘The Who’ too loudly on my car stereo.  It seems I won’t get fueled again.

I thought I was saving money by purchasing my gas at a self-service station.  It turns out, I was only fueling myself.

While I was at the gas station, I thought about buying a salad.  There were two choices: regular or unlettuced.

I thought about posting every gas pun I could find but I decided that would be very fuelish.  Tank goodness I didn’t post them all.

Last week I came up with a joke about inflation. It’s not as funny today

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.” ~  Edward Abbey

Don’t Spend It All In One Place

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Honda-CR-V-2012-1280-01

We are assaulted by advertisements all the time.  Every time we turn on the TV or the radio we see and hear commercials.  Most of the commercials go in one ear and out the other, but every once in a while, something about an ad will make me stop and listen and then I start to think which is usually not good.

Today, I heard a commercial for a certain brand of gasoline with a great new additive that will help to prolong the life of my car.  Sounds nice.  Plus, there is almost always a “plus,” as an added bonus it will improve my gas mileage.  Well, who does not want better gas mileage?  But, being the kind of person I am, I had to ask, “How much of a difference will it really make?”

The advertisement states that using this product will restore an “average of 3 – 5 miles per tank.”  Notice that is per TANK, not per gallon.  So, they are losing my interest rather quickly, but just for fun (I know, I need to get out more!) let’s put some numbers to this and see what impact using this product would really have.

First, we need some numbers. So, let’s assume the following: 1) I buy a new car and will keep it for 15 years; 2) I will be an average US driver and drive 13,500 miles per year; 3) I will average 25.5 miles per gallon; 4) My gas tank holds 15 gallons of fuel; 4) the price of gas is $2.50.

Next, if we do the math, we will divide the miles driven (13,500 x 15) by the average MPG of 25.5.  The result is that I can expect to use 7,942 gallons of gas over the next 15 years.  So, if my gas tank holds 15 gallons, then I will use approximately 530 tanks over than time.  The ad claims an improvement of 3-5 miles per tank, so let’s go right in the middle and use 4 miles per tank.

OK, so 4 miles per tank means I will improve 2,120 miles over the life of the vehicle.  So, if the average MPG is 25.5, then that will save me 86.5 gallons.  If we assume the price of gas is $2.50, then I will save $216.25.  Well a dollar is a dollar, so $200 is nice.  But remember, that is over 15 years, so my average savings per year is a little less than $14,50, or not quite three Pepperoni Hot ‘N Ready’s.  

Now, I am not all that excited about what this product will do for me.  This is a major name brand of gasoline and often the major brands cost a little more.  So, if the price of this particular brand, on average, is more than $0.03 higher than the competition, the savings completely disappear. 

I am all for better gas mileage and I am all for saving money; however, it will take more than three pepperoni pizzas a year to get me excited about going out of my way for this brand of gasoline.