Tag Archives: time

Friday Funny March 6, 2020 Spring Forward with Jokes

Happy Friday!  Don’t forget to set your clocks up this weekend as we welcome another round of Daylight Savings Time.  Personally I enjoy the days being light later.  So, you help you usher in the change, here are a few time-related jokes for you.

Enjoy!

What does daylight-saving time mean in Seattle? An extra hour of rain.

The future, the present and the past show up at a party at the same time. Things got  pretty tense.

Growing up my friends and I really liked playing “Hide and Seek.” Sometimes the games would go on for hours and hours.  Good friends were hard to find.

I put a clock under my desk at work, now I am working overtime.

I was going to apply for a patent for a belt with a built-in watch but I decided it was just a  waist of time.

The bartender says “we don’t serve time travelers in here.” A time traveler walks into a bar.

For a while I was addicted to time travel, but that is all in my past now.

I was going to share a great joke about time travel but nobody laughed.

I joined a club of time travelers.  There have been some real fun times, so far:

       * I have made a lot of friends in the club, some of us go back years and years.

       * I won a great prize in the raffle last week, two tickets to Game 6 of the 1975 World              Series.

        * For a membership project, I invented a device to bring back herbs from the                            future.  I call it my little “thyme machine.”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“A man who owns a watch knows what time it is. A man who owns two watches is never quite certain.” ~ Unknown

Friday Funny April 13, 2018 Timely Humor

Happy Friday the 13th!  Never fear, there will be no triskaidekaphobia here just a few quick jokes to help you pass the time this Friday.

Enjoy!

I realized that I cannot see an end. I have no control and I don’t think there’s an escape. Plus I don’t have a home anymore. It is definitely time to replace my keyboard.

When a was a kid I threw a boomerang away. I live in fear to this day.

Time is a great teacher but a lousy beautician.

Those who do not learn from the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

I once dated a girl who would hit me with stringed instruments. I wish I had known about her history of violins.

I feel more like I do now that I did a little while ago.

They say that all the dinosaurs were wiped out by an asteroid hitting the earth 66 million years ago. That is tragic, but you do wonder why they were all standing in the same place.

The other day I ran into an old friend. I noticed he had 8 watches on one wrist and 4 on the other. He said that lately he had a lot of time on his hands.

The other day I ran into an analytical young man who was not very successful in romantic relationships. He tried to get to the root cause, he made a graph of all his past relationships, it has an ex axis and a why axis.

The other day and I making my lunch and as I was putting mustard on my sandwich and I had that strange feeling I had already done that. I think it was Dijon-vu!

I have an 8:30 dinner reservation tonight. That’s like midnight in middle-age time.

The next time the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.

I was going to add a few jokes some about watches and clocks, but I ran out of time.

Thought for the Week

The time is always right to do what is right. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.