Movie Wisdom

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I certainly hope that this Memorial Day you took time to reflect on the gift provided by those who gave the ultimate sacrifice so that we might have the opportunity to enjoy our freedom.

Weekend and holidays are often a great time to catch up on those DVD that have been gathering dust since you received them last Christmas or last birthday or some other time.  A quick search of the internet will provide a wealth of important things we have learned from watching movies.  Here are some of my favorites, feel free to add yours to the list.

..All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
…If being chased through town, you almost always take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade – regardless what time of the year. (Unless you are in New Orleans where there is always a Mardi Gras parade.)
…All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
…It’s possible for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to provide instructions to you.
…Once applied, makeup and lipstick will never rub off – even while swimming or being adrift at sea for days.
…The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
…If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition even if you haven’t been carrying any before now.
…You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
…Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
…If your town is threatened by an eminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the tourist trade.
…The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
…The Washington Monument can be seen from any window in Washington, DC.
…A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
…When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
…Kitchens don’t have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
…Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
…Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames and roll down steep hillsides.
…The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective – or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
…A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of the Rose Bowl.
…Medieval peasants had perfect teeth and clean, but ragged, clothes.
…Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
…If the phone rings in the middle of the night, one has to turn on the light next to the bed before answering the phone.
…It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
…Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
…All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off and they all have blue, red, yellow and green wires.
…It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
…A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
…It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
…When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
…No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
…Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
…When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
…You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
…Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds – unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
…Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
…If you pull your collar up and your hat down over your eyes, police will never recognize you.

 

 

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One thought on “Movie Wisdom

  1. Pat Godbey

    Funny! You are so right; every movie I ever watched had any one of those elements or several! If only life worked in such unison with our every whim! NOT!

    Like

    Reply

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