Friday Funny March 6, 2015 Wedded Bliss

beautiful-pic-of-wedding-ring-with-high-resolution-gold-wedding-rings-free-stock-photo

Happy Friday!  Happy March!!  Believe or not spring is only 15 days away!!!

This Friday is not just any day, it is my wedding anniversary.  So, this Friday here are some marriage-themed jokes chosen especially for you.

Enjoy!

My wife says that she does not know where she would be without me, she has, however, said she would like to go there for a visit sometime.

The other day I asked my wife, “What do you love most about me; my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?” Here response was that she loved my great sense of humor.

A few weeks ago my wife and I were out at the mall and passed one those scales were you drop in a quarter and it tells your fortune as well as your weight.  I dropped in a quarter and read the small, white card that popped out. I showed my wife. “Look at this! It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover.” “Yeah,” she nodded, “and it has your weight wrong, too.”

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car or the wife is new.

A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.

During a fight, a husband threw a bowl of Jello at his wife. She had him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.

One day a man who had been married for many years was looking for something in the closet when he stumbled upon a shoe box in the closet.  Upon opening it, he was quite surprised to find 2 doilies and $85,000 in cash.  Quite confused, he asked his wife if the box was hers.  She confirmed that it was and he asked what the contents meant.  She explained “when we got married my mother told me that every time I got upset with you, I should crochet a doily.” Well the old gentleman was quite touched thinking that over all the years of their marriage she had only been mad twice.  He wiped a small tear from his eye and asked what the $85,000 came from.  “Oh that,” she replied,”..that’s the money I’ve made over the years from selling doilies.”

Thought for the Week

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret

http://www.quotegarden.com

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Friday Funny March 6, 2015 Wedded Bliss

  1. J.L.

    Joke I heard on Sirius a few weeks ago: No husband was ever shot while he was cleaning the house.

    Tee-shirt I saw Monday on a woman: Every marriage consists of one person who is always right, and another who is the husband.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Jay McDonald

    Congratulations! It just seems appropriate that your anniversary falls on the week Spring Training starts. Sounds like a celebratory trip to Arizona is in order. Jay

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s