Friday Funny April 17, 2015 Jokes that Count

lgs

Happy Friday!  In honor of surviving another April 15, I thought a few accounting jokes would help bring balance to your day.  So be audit you can be, but remember it’s       accrual world out there.
 
Enjoy!
 
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
 
What is the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
About ten years.

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
How much money do you have? 

What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? 
The accountant knows he's boring.
 
Newton's Laws of Accounting 
1. For every accountant, there is equal and opposite accountant.
2. Both of them are wrong. 
 
Four Laws of Accounting:
1. Trial balances don't.
2. Bank reconciliations never do.
3. Working capital does not. 
4. Return on investments never will. 

In reality there are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business: 
1. Don't tell them everything you know. 2. [Redacted] 

An auditor is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
"Doctor, I just can't get sleep at night." 
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend many hours trying to find it."
 
What is the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.
 
When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
 
How can you tell an accountant is introverted?
He looks at his shoes while he is talking to you.
 
How can you tell an accountant is extroverted?
He looks at your shoes while he is talking to you.
 
Why did the accountant cross the road?
To bore the people on the other side
 
There are just three types of accountants: those who can count and those who can't.


Thought for the Week

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes." ~ attributed to Albert Einstein

 

					
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