Friday Funny May 4, 2017 Leaving Las Vegas

Happy Friday and Happy May!  This week took me to Las Vegas for some training.  So, naturally, I thought I would try my luck at a little Las Vegas themed humor.  I  hope I hit the jackpot with these.


I once knew a man who went to Las Vegas in a $40,000 Cadillac and came home in a $250,000 Greyhound.

I saw a guy in Las Vegas win $1 million gambling. He said he was going to donate a quarter of it to charity. He said that would leave him with $999,999.75.

They say that in Las Vegas money talks, it appears most of the time it simply says good-bye.

Living in Las Vegas is expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.

The only fortune I saw in Las Vegas was a fortune cookie.

The only place I found money in Las Vegas was in the dictionary.

I saw a dinosaur in the casino, he was trying to buy chips by writing Tyrannosaurus Checks.

I saw a sign in the casino that said “CASHIER.” I wonder what that is for?

Is it bad luck to be superstitious?

Negative numbers bring me bad luck. I will stop at nothing to avoid them.

If it weren’t for negative variance Id have no variance at all.

My ship finally came in but I was at the airport.

Thought for the Week

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. ~ Steven Wright


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