Friday Funny October 4, 2019 Over the Hill

Happy Friday!  Happy October!  I recently celebrated a birthday which has reminded me that I am not as young as I used to be.  How do I know?  Well there are a lot signs to let one know.

Enjoy!

You Know You’re Getting Old When…

Your joints provide more accurate forecasts than The Weather Channel which is the only station you watch these days.

You can pull a muscle while driving a car.

You have some clothes that you kept when they went out of style – they have come back into style and gone out again.

You have actually worn a leisure suit (thankfully, that one is never coming back in style.)

You know what a punch card is.

You can remember life without a cell phone.

You have developed an appreciation for mulch.

When talking to you doctors often throw in the phrase, “considering your age.”

You remember a time when the milkman, the bread man and the TV repairman came to your house.

You are in a conversation about a song and you say, “it had a good beat, you can dance to it, I’ll give it an 85.”

The hospital you were born at, the elementary school you attended and the high school you graduated from have all been torn down.

The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.

It takes twice as long to look half as good.

You look forward to a dull evening.

Your mind makes contracts your body can’t keep. 

You look for your glasses for half-an-hour, then find they’ve been on your head all the time.

You begin every other sentence with, “Back in my day.. “ or “When I was your age…”

You sing along with the elevator music.

You are proud of your lawn mower.

 Your secrets are safe with your friends because either they cannot hear you or they cannot remember what you tell them.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. 

Your childhood toys are now in a museum.

You frequently find yourself telling people about buying a candy bar or a pack of baseball cards for a nickel.

You know the answers, but nobody asks you the questions anymore.

You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations. 

Your last car cost more than your first house.
 
If you still had your first car in mint condition, it would be worth more than your current house.

Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work. 

You actually know what is in your 401K. 

You own a metal detector. 

You scout for a warmer place to spend the long, cold winters. 

Youthful injuries return with a vengeance. 

A ‘late night’ now ends at 10 pm. 

“You are as young as you feel” sounds rather ominous.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. ~Leroy “Satchel” Paige  http://WWW.QUOTEGARDEN.COM

 

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