Snow Reminders

In southwestern Ohio, December has been pretty mild so far.  But, as they say, all good things must come to an end and it appears that winter is starting to make its presence known.  Today started dreary and cool  Early evening has brought lower temperatures and the snow began falling and no doubt has brought life as we know it to an end.  

I am reminded of several things that we should know but somehow we forget annually between the thaw of spring and the first snow.  I have a theory that for many people there is a part of the brain that hibernates or perhaps freezes during the winter so that any knowledge that is gained during the winter months is lost when the brain thaws or awakes from hibernation in the spring.  Whatever the case, here are a few things that the vast majority of people somehow manage to forget and therefore must be reminded of each year when snow comes.

First, 83% of adults forget that bridges freeze before roadways.  Even though a sign attesting to this fact is posted on the majority of the bridges north of the equator year round,  we need news anchors, meteorologists and traffic reporters to remind us with excited amazement one might expect of an announcement for a cure for heart disease that we need to be careful on bridges and overpasses because they freeze first!

Second, 87% of people are unable to recall what a snow plow is used for or what a salt dome looks like.  The first snow is an occasion which requires every field reporter to show up with a cameraman at the salt dome to show us a live picture of snow plows being loaded with salt to head out to treat the roads.  These same people need to be reminded that salt is, in fact, used to melt ice on the roads.

Third, despite the reminders that the roads can be hazardous when it snows, 97% of drivers have completely forgotten how to drive when it snows.  The concepts of “slow-down” and “assured clear distance” are comprehended by the masses to the same degree that classical Greek is understood.

Lastly, 99% of the people,  having zero recollection of one or more of the items above feel some sort of unexplained compulsion to get in their cars and drive to the grocery store to purchase sufficient quantities of milk, bread and eggs to make enough French Toast to feed everyone in China.  These people refuse to accept that deliveries will be made to stores when there is an inch of snow on the ground.

Perhaps you should print this out and put it is a safe place where you can pull it out next year and we can all get off to a smoother start the first time it snows.

© 2019


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