Happy Friday! Perhaps all of the quarantining has you dealing with a few Covid pounds that that have sneaked onto your frame. I cannot help you jettison those pounds, but I can let you binge on a few diet jokes.
If I had a dollar for every time I said that I was going to go on a diet, I would have enough money to buy that treadmill that I am never going to use.
I was going to begin a new diet tonight, but I have too much on my plate.
I started a 10-day crash diet last week. I don’t want to brag, but I finished it in one day.
I am thinking about going on a cheese only diet – I need to cheddar a few pounds.
I was going to put my dog on a vegan diet but he doesn’t really like vegans.
Would you call a fascist vegan lactose intolerant?
I’ve heard that in an upcoming Star Wars movie Luke will be sent to a Jedi in Italy who specializes diets, his name is Only One Cannoli.
Do you know what diets and social distancing have in common – they both flatten the curve.
I asked my wife if it would be good to include hot dogs in my diet. She said, “They’re not the wurst.”
I’ve decided to start the Cincinnati Bengal diet – not much happens through the week but I expect to lose a lot on Sundays.
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. ~Author unknown