Friday Funny September 11, 2020 A Full Serving of Diet Jokes

Happy Friday!  Perhaps all of the quarantining has you dealing with a few Covid pounds that that have sneaked onto your frame.  I cannot help you jettison those pounds, but I can let you binge on a few diet jokes.

Enjoy!

If I had a dollar for every time I said that I was going to go on a diet, I would have enough money to buy that treadmill that I am never going to use.

I was going to begin a new diet tonight, but I have too much on my plate.

I started a 10-day crash diet last week.  I don’t want to brag, but I finished it in one day.

I am thinking about going on a cheese only diet – I need to cheddar a few pounds.

I was going to put my dog on a vegan diet but he doesn’t really like vegans.

Would you call a fascist vegan lactose intolerant?

I’ve heard that in an upcoming Star Wars movie Luke will be sent to a Jedi in Italy who specializes diets, his name is Only One Cannoli.

Do you know what diets and social distancing have in common – they both flatten the curve.

I asked my wife if it would be good to include hot dogs in my diet.  She said, “They’re not the wurst.”

I’ve decided to start the Cincinnati Bengal diet – not much happens through the week but I expect to lose a lot on Sundays.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. ~Author unknown

http://WWW.QUOTEGARDEN.COM

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.