Friday Funny August 1, 2014 With Your Second Cup

coffee

I admit that I like coffee and there is seldom a day that goes by that I do not have coffee.  I do try to show some restraint and limit my coffee drinking to two times a day….AM and PM.  Yet there is more to coffee than just the little “pick me up” it provides, if you think about it, coffee teaches us a lot about life.  For example it reminds one to expresso yourself, to stay grounded, to slow down and take life one cup at a time, to pause and take time to smell the coffee and it reminds us that it is always better latte than never.  So this Friday morning as you sip on that second or third or fourth cup of coffee, here is a little coffee humor to stir up your morning.

Enjoy!

Leonard

Procaffinating – the tendency to not start anything until you’ve had a cup of coffee.

Behind every successful man or woman is a substantial amount of coffee. 

Stealing someone’s coffee is called ‘mugging’.

Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.

The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

Selling coffee has its perks for those who have bean so lucky.

Q: What is best Beatles song? A: Latte Be!

Q: What do you call sad coffee?” A: Despresso. 

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? A: Sanka 

A man went to his psychiatrist and said, “Every time I drink my coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye,” The doctor thought for a moment and asked, “do you take the spoon out of the cup?” 

A guy walks into a coffee shop and asks the waitress: “How much is the coffee?” “Coffee is four dollars the waitress says”. “How much is a refill?” the man asks. “Free, “says the waitress.”Then I’ll take a refill!” the man responds. 

 Signs that you are drinking too much coffee (like that could ever happen):

You chew on other people’s fingernails.

You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

You short out motion detectors.

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

You help your dog chase its tail.

All your kids are named “Joe”.

You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”

You can jump-start your car without cables.

You walk ten miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

Your doctor tells you, your blood type is COFFEE.

The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

You answer the door before people knock.

Your morning cup of Coffee is so strong it wakes up the neighbors!

You look at energy drinks and laugh.

Thought for the Week

“When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee;” ~ Mr. Coffee

 

 

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