Friday Funny February 5, 2016 Jokes for the Big Game

football

Happy Friday!  This is the weekend for the big game.  I had the TV on tonight and there were commercials for Super Bowl related hype Friday Night and Saturday Night leading up to the all day pregame Sunday which served to remind me why I will once again not watch the game.  If you think about it, the actual game is quite secondary to the commercials and the half-time lip syncing show.  But if you find yourself at a Super Bowl party Sunday and the game get boring and you need a football related joke.  Well, I am here for you.

Enjoy!

Where do hungry football players play?   In the Supper Bowl.

What kind of ends do you find in libraries?  Book ends.

what’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?  One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.

Which football team cooks gourmet meals together?  The Kansas City Chefs.

Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football? The wide receiver.

What does your teacher call if you run your sentences  together and never use periods or commas?   “Illegal use of ands”

What football player has very strong legs and builds houses? A car-punter.

Why did the referee call a penalty on the car-punter?  “Roofing the passer.”

What should you put in the end zone to keep the other team away?  A scorecrow.

THE OTHER BIG GAME

During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the small animals. The big animals were crushing small animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.

At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.

As the defensive players huddled around the coach, he asked excitedly, “Who stopped the elephant?!”

“I did,” said the centipede.

“And who stopped the rhino?”

“Uh, that was me too,” said the centipede.

“Well what about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?”

“Well, that was me as well,” said the centipede.

“So where were you all during the first half?” demanded the coach.

“Well,” said the centipede, “I was having my ankles taped…..”

Thought for the Week

“I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today.” ~ President Gerald Ford

 

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