Happy Friday!  Can you believe that this week brings us to the end of the third quarter of 2016? As we kick off this weekend, here is a another baker’s dozen of puns for you to ponder.

Enjoy!

My math teacher called me average. How mean!

I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I am uncertain of your reaction.

I thought about trying to annoy you with bird puns, but I realized that toucan play at that game.

Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey. (Sorry, I usually hate insects puns, they really bug me.)

The other day I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought to myself now this is the last thing I need.

I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!

Herb gardeners who work extra get thyme and a half

Last night, I kept dreaming that I had written Lord of the Rings. When I woke up, my wife said that I’d been Tolkien in my sleep

I was in the grocery the other day and this guy just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!

Awhile back I heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means!? It’s not like it is the end of the world!

I once knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!

I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.

Thought for the Week

“Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.” ~ Edgar Allan Poe