Send in the Clowns

clown

Have you seen the stories that are popping up about the strange, unusual and even creepy appearances of people dressed like clowns and acting suspiciously?  But then don’t all clowns act a bit suspiciously? 

It started in Greenville, South Carolina, where some children reported clowns trying to lure them into the woods with money.  Since then it has spread faster than kudzu across the South  to Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina and has headed North to Maryland and Pennsylvania where there have been more reports of creepy clown encounters.

According to an AP Report Tricia Manuel aka Pricilla Mooseburger,a real clown who runs a training camp for real clowns wants us to be clear about who the real clowns in this story are.  “When people report these things it should be ‘someone dressed like a clown,’ because a real clown would never dress or do anything to scare anyone,” she said.  These reports have been hurting her business and she does not find that funny at all noting that some of  her clients are now afraid to go out and perform.  It does not take a degree in economics to figure out that if this continues to spread the bottom could fall out of the market for red noses and extra, extra, extra long shoes.

Some of the reported sightings have already been identified as hoaxes including a man in his twenties in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, who has been charged with falsely reporting that a clown knocked on his window.  I can just imagine the next time this guy thinks he has found a job, the prospective employer does a background check and the head of HR walks into the CEO’s office and says, “I hate to be the one to tell you this L.C., but that new CFO you want to hire was convicted a few years ago of falsely reporting that a clown knocked on his window.”

The Pennsylvania State Police are investigating recent unspecified clown sightings in the towns of Huntingdon and Ebensburg, where a woman reported that a clown had peeped through her window. Trooper Adam Reed said citizens should “not confront the individual but rather gather information and report it to your local police.”  Police have released a description of the suspect: he had a chalk-white face with a bright red smile, a big red nose and crazy green hair.  He was seen fleeing the scene in a small red car that appeared to have at least a dozen other people in it.

Some  have noted that the public’s perception of clowns has been going downhill since Stephen King’s 1986 novel about a child-killing clown, “It.” But the latest incidents appear to take the cake right in the face.

Don’t let my glad expression give you the wrong impression.  Really I’m sad, oh I’m sadder than sad.  Sorry, but there is just something about this whole thing that sounds a little funny to me.

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