Friday Funny February 23, 2018 The Return of the Joke Master

Happy Friday!  I hope you have had a good week.  Mine has been pretty hectic.  Being a bit pressed for time I pulled out the handy, dandy Joke Master to quickly find a dozen jokes chosen especially for you.

Enjoy!

A vulture board an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.  The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry sir, but only one carrion per passenger is allowed.

How did the butcher introduce his wife?  Meet Patti!

I married my wife for her looks, but not the ones she’s been giving me lately.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

I finally got my head together and my body fell apart.

Entropy isn’t what it used to be.

Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?  I hear he is fully recovered now.

A truck carry copies of Roger’s Thesaurus overturned on the interstate this week.  The newspaper reported witnesses as “stunned, overwhelmed, astonished, bewildered and dumbfounded.” 

Would you call a Viking with a pocket protector a Nerdic?

The other day I put my wrists in front of my eyes. I now have carpal tunnel vision syndrome.

There is an old proverb that says basically anything you want it to.

Deja Fu – that strange feeling that somehow, somewhere, you have been kicked in the head like this before.

Thought for the Week

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.  ~Francis Bacon

http://www.quotegarden.com

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