Happy Friday! I mean Happy Sunday!  I know I am late, but better late than never, right?  I took a week of vacation last week, but am back and ready to get in the saddle again and back to work tomorrow.  So to kick off you week, a little vacation/late humor.

Enjoy!

Last week I went on a once in a lifetime vacation, never again.

Due to COVID-19, this was the first year I could not go to Switzerland for my summer vacation.  All the other years it has been due to a lack of funds.

Being punctual in my office is of no benefit.  There is never anyone around to appreciate it.

Is punctuality the art of guessing correctly now late everyone one will be?

I was late because I fell asleep beside my kitchen sink.  The plug was out and now I feel completely drained.

I was late because I did not sleep well last night.  I had a dream that I wrote The Hobbit, I might have been Tolkien in my sleep.

I was late because I fell asleep on my smartphone, it seems I accidentally downloaded a nap.

I used to be habitually late.  I went to the Doctor and she recommended sleeping in a herb garden. I know it sounds odd, but now I always wake up on Thyme.

I told my Boss that I was late because I was having computer issues.  He asked me if it was a Hard Drive.  I said, No, the commute was fine. It was my computer.”

I told my suitcases there would be no vacation this year, now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.

Is it true that basketball players cannot go on vacation because they are not allowed to travel?

Is it true that a pirate’s preferred lodging on vacation is an Arr B&B?

The other day my brother asked if i could help him come up with a way to advertise the new vacation resort he was opening up. I said “Bro-chure.”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“Its never to late to get back on your feet though we wont live forever make sure you accomplish what you were put here for .” ~ Abigail Adams

Happy Friday!  Hoping this finds you healthy and coping.  Times continue to be rather crazy and we all find different ways to cope.  I enjoy listening to music.  So, this week I thought I would share my playlist for social distancing along with a few lines from each song.  I will admit the songs are rather dated, but then so am I!

Enjoy!

• Pablo Cruise – Place in the Sun –Everybody’s pannin’ for gold/ and you can find it for a price/Love always promises to last forever/ but sometimes it just don’t work out/’Cause laughing lighthearted tunes/oh, sometimes they turn to blues/So tell yourself a joke or two/’cause every day invites you/To find your place in the sun
• Average White Bank – Pick Up the Pieces – Pick up the pieces, uh-huh/Pick up the pieces, alright/Pick up the pieces, uh-huh/Pick up the pieces, woo!
• Boz Scaggs- What Can I Say – (What can I say)/Oh to make you know baby/(What can I do)/Oooh show you that I care/(What can I say)
• Beatles – Please Mr. Postman – Wait, oh yes wait a minute mister postman/Wait, wait mister postman/Mister postman look and see/Is there a letter in your bag for me
• Player – Baby Comer Back – All day long, I’m wearin’ a mask of false bravado/Tryin’ to keep up a smile that hides a tear/But as the sun goes down, I get that empty feelin’ again
• Boston – More Than A Feeling – So many people have come and gone/Their faces fade as the years/go by/Yet I still recall as I wander on/As clear as the sun in the summer sky/It’s more than a feeling
• Rex Smith – Take My Breath Away -You, you take my breath away/And I don’t know what to say/’Cause you take my breath away
• Donnie Osmond – Go Away Little Girl – So, go away little girl/Let’s call it a day little girl/Please, go away little girl/Before I beg you to stay
• Barbara Streisand – The Way We Were – Mem’ries,Light the corners of my mind/Misty water-colored memories/Of the way we were
• Starship – Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now – Let ’em say we’re crazy, I don’t care about that/put your hand in my hand, baby, don’t ever look back/let the world around us just fall apart/baby we can make it if we’re heart-to-heart
• Andrew Gold – Lonely Boy– “They dressed him up warmly/they sent him to school/
  It taught him how to fight/to be nobody’s fool/Oh, oh, what a lonely boy
• Eric Carmen – All By Myself – Livin’ alone/I think of all the friends I’ve known.
  But when I dial the telephone/Nobody’s home.
• Sly and the Family Stone – Thank You Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin – Dance to the music all night long/Everyday people sing their simple song/Mama’s so happy, Mama starts to cry/Papa’s still singing, you can make it if you try/I want to thank you falettinme be mice elf agin
• Three Dog Night – Mama Told Me (Not To Come) –This is the craziest party that could ever be/Don’t turn on the lights ’cause I don’t wanna see/Mama told me not to come
• Aerosmith – Walk This Way –  ‘Cause she knew what she was doin’/When she told me how to walk this way/She told me to/Walk this way
• The Sylvers- Boogie Fever –She’s got the boogie fever/She likes to boogie down
  She’s got the boogie fever/I think it’s going around
• Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive – “I’ve got all my life to live/ I’ve got all my love to give/
  And I’ll survive, I will survive, I will survive.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“I may not overcome the inevitable, but O, it is mine to see that the inevitable does not overcome me.” ~Muriel Strode (1875–1964), My Little Book of Prayer, 1904

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Happy Friday!  Congratulations of making it through another week of social distancing!  These are indeed unusual times for all of us.  Why not kick off your weekend with a laugh?  Below are some interesting newspaper corrections that I dug up.

Enjoy!  Best Wishes for Easter and Passover!!

“In a Sunday Image article about hyaluronic acid, a skin-care ingredient and injectable filler, Dr. Nowell Solish was quoted as saying that if people change their minds after receiving an injection, there is an anecdote. It should have quoted him as saying there is an antidote.”

“There was an error printed in a story titled ‘Pigs float down the Dawson’ on Page 11 of yesterday’s Bully. The story, by reporter Daniel Burdon, said ‘more than 30,000 pigs were floating down the Dawson River’. What Baralaba piggery owner Sid Everingham actually said was ’30 sows and pigs’, not ’30,000 pigs’. The Morning Bulletin would like to apologise for this error, which was also reprinted in today’s Rural Weekly CQ before the mistake was known.”

“The candidate likes to spend his free time reading Tolstoy, and not watching Toy Story, as originally reported”

“In a recipe for salsa published recently, one of the ingredients was misstated, due to an error.  The correct ingredient is ‘2 tsp. of cilantro’ istead of ‘2 tsp. of cement.”

“A headline on an item in the Feb. 5 edition of the Enquirer Bulletin incorrectly stated ‘Stolen groceries.’ It should have read ‘Homicide.’

“An April 5 story stated that Mary Fraijo did not return a reporter’s calls seeking comment. Fraijo died last December.”

“There was an error in the Dear Abby column that was published on Monday.  In the fifth paragraph. the second sentence stated that Charlie’s hiccups were cured temporarily through the use of carbon monoxide. It should have read carbon dioxide.”

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK

“The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another. \” ~ James Matthew Barrie

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