Happy Friday! Happy last weekend of Winter! Happy St. Patrick’s Day! In honor of the “wearin’ ‘o the green” here are a few jokes that just might have you Dublin over with laughter.
If you crossed poison ivy with a four-leaf clover would you get a rash of good luck?
If you crossed a pillowcase with a stone would you get a sham rock?
If you crossed a leprechaun with a Texan would you find a pot of chili at the end of the rainbow?
Do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day because regular rocks are too heavy?
Did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland because he couldn’t afford air fare?
Would you call a big Irish spider a paddy-long-legs?
Would you call an Irishman bouncing off the walls Rick O’Shay?
Would you call a leprechaun who gets sent to jail a lepre-con?
Would you call a clumsy Irish dance a jig mistake?
Just remember – St. Patrick’s Day puns don’t just shame you, they Seamus all.
Thought for the Week
“May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.”
Happy Friday! Last weekend the clocks sprung forward, next week brings the official start of spring and today is St. Patrick’s Day. While I do not claim to be Irish, I will certainly take advantage of the occasion to pass along a few jokes.
Q: What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A: A rash of good luck.
Q: What’s Irish and stays outside all summer?
A: Paddy O’Furniture.
Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player?
A: The Half-back of Notre Dame!
Q: What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
A: He gets wet!
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A: He couldn’t afford plane fare.
I did not remember to wear green on St. Patrick’s Day, but I am wearing blue pants and a yellow shirt, so pretty much the same thing.
To celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, my wife made green meatloaf. I asked her how she colored it …she said she didn’t know what I was talking about.
An Irishman by the name of O’Mally proposed to his girl on St. Patrick’s Day. However, the ring he proposed with was only a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, who, as luck would have it, was a jeweler. He took one look at it and knew it wasn’t not genuine.
The young lass, on learning it wasn’t real, returned to her beau and protested vehemently about his cheapness.
He simply smiled and said “It is St. Patrick’s Day, so I gave you a sham rock.”
Thought for the Week
Never iron a four-leaf clover. You don’t want to press your luck!