Happy Friday!  I hope you have had a great week.  Let’s kick off this weekend with some puns you can share or torment your friends and co-workers with.

Enjoy!

I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.

I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn’t have much of a plot.

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.

I was going to join the optimist club but I did not think they would approve my application.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

Going vegetarian is a missed steak. 

My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.

I tried talking about our future but she just kept bringing up my past. It was a tense conversation.

The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

Thought for the Week

The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability. ~Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia, 1849      www.quotegarden.com