Tag Archives: Humor

That Rings a Bell

phone photo

“Mr. Watson – Come Here – I want to see you.” With that short phrase, Alexander Graham Bell thrust us into the age of telecommunications.  The idea of being able to talk to people who were not physically close together was a revolutionary idea.  Before long the country and the world were crossed with a spider’s web of phone lines so that we could call Aunt Bertha to find out what the weather was like in Toledo.

I recall growing ho that we had one phone in the house,.  It was black, it was attached to the wall by a cord and it had a rotary dial on the front. (As far back as I can remember, we had a private line, but my wife can remember a party line when they still lived on the farm.  (For those of you who do not know what a party line is, it is kind of like an audio version of Facebook without the option of picking your friends.)  If you are my age perhaps you remember watching The Beverly Hillbillys and recall when Jed wanted to place a phone call, Granny would always remind him, “Don’t forget to spin the wheel Jed!”

When my Dad wanted to call my Grandfather who lived in Florida, he would pick up the phone, dial the Operator, tell her the name, number and location and wait for the Operator to call back and tell him his call was connected.  It was a rare and exciting event to talk ‘long-distance.”  We thought we really had something when we obtained an extension cord for the phone that allowed us to carry the phone into another room in the house so we could have a little privacy.

When I headed off to college, I would make long-distance collect calls home on Saturday mornings to keep in touch.  The dorms had one phone on the floor which meant any long conversation was punctuated with someone pacing back and forth nearby wondering when in the world the phone would be free again.

All that sounds so quaint today.  I just purchased a new smart phone along with everyone in my family.  A phone that is a lit smarter than I am.  These phones can make calls, text, get directions, find places to eat, provide weather reports, keep up on the latest scores, manage appointments and on and on and on.  Why a come phones can even be used as a remote control for your TV! (I remember when the TV did not even have a remote control!!)

Now that I have the world in my hand, it seems like the last thing anyone wants to use a phone for is to talk!  If Mr. Graham had invented the phone in 2014, instead of calling his assistant, he probably would have texted him.

W CMON I WAN2 C U 🙂

Maybe I will take my smart phone back, get a rotary phone spin the wheel one more time!

 

 

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Friday Funny September 19, 2014 Signs You are Having a Bad Day

SanDiego2010 006

Happy Friday!  Any Friday is a good day, but here are a number of signs that you just might be having as bad day.

Enjoy!

You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

You get to work and find a “60 Minutes” news team waiting in your office.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.  

Your twin sibling forgets your birthday.

Your 4-year-old tells you that it’s almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.

You realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.

You realize that you just brushed your teeth with preparation H instead of tooth paste.

It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

Your income tax refund check bounces.

You mother asks you to stop calling.

You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.

The doctor tells you you’re in fine health…..for someone twice your age.

Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to ice cream.

Everyone loves your driver’s license picture.

The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.

People think you are 55…and you are.

A black cat crosses your path and drops dead. 

It takes you three hours to make minute rice. 

The fortune teller charges you half price. 

Your plants do better when you don’t talk to them. 

The Optimist Club rejects your application.

You put both contact lenses in the same eye. (I have actually managed to do this!)

Thought for the Week

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.  ~Frank A. Clark

www.quotegarden.com

Bobble heads

 

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I suppose we all have strange, quirky things that interest us.  Things that get us excited while other people just scratch their heads in wonder.  For me, one of these is collecting bobble heads.  As a child I come home from a Cincinnati Reds game with a bobble head sometime in the late 1960’s.  The head was made of something like paper mache and though I did my best to take care of it, the years took a toll and the remnants went into the trash decades ago. 

But in recent years, bobble heads have become quite popular.  No longer are there just team bobble heads but now there are bobble heads that kind of, sort of, actually look like the players.  The Cincinnati Reds began giving away bobble heads In 2001.  That year I took my boys and my Dad to one of the games never thinking that the Danny Graves bobble head would be much of a draw, I was wrong.  The 10,000 bobble heads were long gone by the time we arrived at the game.  The highlight of the game was the first appearance in several years of Jose Rijo, seeing him trot from the bullpen to the mound really was a very memorable moment.  So, I left the game without a bobble head, but with a great memory.

I think the first game I attended and left with a bobble head was in 2002.  It was Johnny Bench bobble head night for the first 10,000 fans.  I worked downtown at the time and I remember looking out the window and seeing people starting to line up shortly after 4:00 for the 7:10 game.  I took off work a little early, got in line and left with my bobble head.  Little did I know what I had started.

The next year, 2003 was perhaps the most memorable approach the Reds took to a bobble head giveaway.  This time it was Gapper, the, well no one is quite sure what Gapper is, but he is a mascot of the Reds.  Someone in the front office had the bright idea that they would only give these to first 10,000 kids 12 and under.    These were just as fragile and breakable as any bobble head and I have often wondered how many of the 10,000 made it out of the stadium still intact.  I was at this game and fortunately, two of my sons were under 12 and so I managed to finagle one of these.  Gapper is now apparently one of the more expensive and difficult to find bobble heads.

Over the last decade, I started making plans to attend games when there was a bobble head giveaway and scouring ebay to obtain the ones I have missed.  There have been a few times that I have not been able to attend the game, but have been able to send someone, usually my sons, in my place to watch the game and bring me a bobble head.  I believe that the collection now stands at 51 and is ready for a rest until the next baseball season.  

This may just sound silly to you, but it is one of my little quirks.  There are not that many and they do not take up that much space and serve to keep the baseball season alive all year round.  Now, may baseball card collection is another story for another day.

 

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Friday Funny September 12, 2014 A Baker’s Dozen of Puns

SanDiego2010 006

Happy Friday!  I hope you have had a great week.  Let’s kick off this weekend with some puns you can share or torment your friends and co-workers with.

Enjoy!

I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.

I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn’t have much of a plot.

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.

I was going to join the optimist club but I did not think they would approve my application.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

Going vegetarian is a missed steak. 

My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.

I tried talking about our future but she just kept bringing up my past. It was a tense conversation.

The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

Thought for the Week

The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability. ~Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia, 1849      www.quotegarden.com