Friday Funny June 28, 2019 Before Computers

Happy Friday!  We have come to the last Friday in June and 2019 is almost halfway gone!  Time continues to fly by.  Among many things that have impacted my life is the advent of computers and their effect on every aspect of life including language.


Before Computers:
Java was what you drank in the morning
An application was something you filled out for a job
A program was on television
A cursor was someone who used profanity
A keyboard was on a piano

Memory was something that you lost with age
Uploading what was you did to a pickup truck
The only directory I knew was the yellow pages
Shareware was the hand-me-down clothes you received from relatives
Windows were what you looked out of
A monitor was someone who watched what you were doing
Booting up what something you did before going out in the snow
Google was a really big number that no one ever used
Yahoo was a person of questionable intelligence
Oracle was a very wise and respected person
Unencrypt sounded like something from a bad horror movie
Ethernet sounded like something an anesthesiologist would use
Debugging was done with insect repellent
C++ was something you did not want to see on your report card
Crashing was what you tried to avoid in your car
A Byte was a quick snack
Compress was something you did to garbage  
Zip was something you did to your pants
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
A backup was what you wanted to prevent in your toilet
Cut – you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider’s home

Thought for the Week

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.  ~Joseph Campbell


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